Goggles and happiness

On Thursday I got two good pieces of advice from a friend. After telling him my woes, he said "keep swimming in the sea, and bring goggles", and he suggested I spend a week on Inishbofin, Island of the White Cow, on my own. Now I often get advice and think it is great, but then don't act on it, but I kept thinking of these two things all day. Yesterday morning, after a run, I peeled off my sweaty clothes, put on my bikini and went straight to the beach, and I brought my goggles. I spent quite some time with my face underwater, taking in the beautiful turquoise world down there. For some reason, I had never considered wearing goggles while swimming in the sea. It added another dimension. I also started planning a trip to Inishbofin, although I'm not sure whether it'll be a whole week, nor when it will happen.
I spent the day at home yesterday, doing exciting things like cleaning out the fridge. I try not to let food go off, but I had all these jars of sticky things like chutneys, which I used to love, but now find too sweet (says the person who had two meals that consisted mainly of chocolate the other day... so much for eliminating sugar). They were way past their best-before date, so they had to go. I actually prefer to just cook with fresh ingredients and make everything from scratch.
I am still in decluttering mode, and I thought I didn't have much to declutter... Last week I got rid of all the cardboard boxes I had kept (what for - for when I move out?) and college stuff.
Less stuff + morning swims + finished projects = a good week.

Sun-drenched day

On Wednesdays I have a few hours after my lunchtime class before teaching again in the evening, and I like to leave the campus with one of my favourite people and do something nice. Today I had to pick up some pictures at the framers' and then we I had a late big huge lunch at 4pm (my companion ordered three beverages, all at the same time, Helena Bonham Carter-style) around the corner, somewhere the two of us hadn't been before. It was like being on holidays, even though today was the first day back at work after the 6-day weekend. I am serious about my do-things-differently resolution; it has made such a difference to my energy levels and contentedness.

It feels good to get things done. I am Miss Procrastination and thrive under pressure -while driving people around me mad and risking my sanity. The few times that I finished something way before the deadline have made me really want to change. No rushing, all calm and slow and so much better for my fraught nervous system. Now is such a time, but the next three thingies are already queuing up. I remind myself that this is what I always wanted, to work from home, being creative, and now I am doing that regularly. Now that I don't go to bed at 7pm anymore (it's true, D!), the evenings stretch out before me, full of possibilities. But right now I am giving myself a bit of a breather before jumping in again, just a few days. This evening I got home to my lovely quiet house, opened the windows, organised my wardrobe and drank wine. No chatter in my head for a change, no obsessing, no regretting, no paranoia, no to-do lists swirling around my brain - though admittedly, that could be due to the wine...

Nine years

Papa's wall

My new "shower"

My electric shower isn't working (no hot water), so I have been improvising showers in the bathtub (which doesn't have a shower). Perfect timing, because just two weeks ago I was given this beautiful enamel jug:

It has become my shower, and I love my new ritual. There is something infinitely satisfying about rinsing your hair with water from an enamel jug. I also think it saves water, as you are more consious of how often you fill the jug.

And it is very zen-like. I am trying to be more mindful with everything I do, down to simple tasks and routines. Instead of thinking about all kinds of things while I rinse my hair/do the dishes/ iron my clothes/... I focus on what I am doing.

Then there is the nostalgia of using enamel anything. I like to pretend I am not actually in the year 2011, but some time in the past (ok, I do use hot running water with my new system). I decant most of my dry-food purchases into kilner jars as soon as I come in the door from the grocery shop (can't stand plastic packaging - I wish the shops here introduced bulk-buying, where you bring your own container); I prefer using muslin cloths to face cloths (they are great for cleansing your face); and I try to wear mostly natural fibres. I don't have a kitchen machine, so I do everything by hand, including whisking egg whites, and until recently I cracked peppercorns with a pestle and mortar (now I have a grinder). I love the simplicity of it all, and I think time-saving devices are overrated. The few more minutes you spend by doing things the old-fashioned way won't mean your precious time is being wasted. Ultimately it makes you more absorbed in what you are doing, and that is grounding.

More sea love

When the weather is good, living here feels like being on holiday. It's what I always wanted, to live by the sea. This is only a two-minute walk from my house:

On Thursday I worked indoors for most of the day and spent too much time in front of the computer, so in the evening, as it was getting dark, I went down to the shore, where I was greeted by hundreds of seagulls (see last two pictures. BTW, all the landscape-format pictures here are smaller than the portrait ones because when I make them larger they overlap with the sidebar; I am trying to fix this. In the meantime, you can click on the images to see them in a larger size). The light was so beautiful. Now the long harsh winter (which neither the houses nor the cars here were prepared for) is forgotten. Ireland may not be paradise for a lot of people at the moment, but in terms of the landscape it is. Having the sea so close is so calming. Even when I happen to get caught up in rush hour traffic at the end of a hectic day, I don't mind, because I am driving on a coast road! When I am cooking or sitting on the couch, I can see the sea and its changing colours, the movements on the water's surface and the lights across the bay, and I feel blessed.

The best start to the day

 This morning I woke to blue skies and decided to head down to the beach (after being upside down for a while). It was the perfect swim. I haven't been checking the tide forecast lately, so I just took a chance... and it was exactly right. I like going early in the morning when not many people are around and everything feels fresh. My car thermometer said it was 12 degrees outside, but it didn't feel cold at all. There is always a moment when I hesitate before going into the water, but the trick is to stop thinking and just run in (with lots of splashing).

after the swim

You do get very cold afterwards, though. Not the first five minutes, but once I have changed into dry clothes, I start shivering. I should probably go for a fast walk then (instead I went to to buy the paper and talked incoherently to the people in the shop -being cold does that to me). 

Swimming in the sea is the best boost I can think of. While I'm in the water, I forget about everything; it makes me feel strong, cleansed and energetic. It's almost impossible to have a bad day after that. 

Loose plans

I have almost an entire week off, and that thought fills me with anxiety. I am aware that half of day 1 is already over, and I am not in holiday-mode at all (can't expect instant results, I guess). Part of me wants to go away, the other part wants to just take it easy and work on a few things that I have been putting off. Because, to be honest, I am fast approaching a very long summer holiday, so a bit of work won't kill me. Procrastinating will only make me more anxious. I probably need to look at why so many things fill me with anxiety, even the prospect of a few days off...

I don't want to plan too much. So my prescription to myself is to just let it happen, see what comes up, be spontaneous (some sort of day trip perhaps), and chill the f... out. Since I have a few deadlines looming, there will have to be some work, but I will limit that to the mornings, unless I really feel like working at other times, too.

I will also
-check my e-mail only once a day max.
-see friends
-get back on track running-wise
-go to the beach
-eat nice foods (without sugar): My current obsessions are almond butter -tastes like those roasted almonds you get at fun fairs and Christmas markets - and millet.
-watch a movie I rented (on iTunes, a first) - An Education. I have read so much about it, and I like Lynn Barber's writing. The screenplay is by Nick Hornby.
-read this (have started already):

Whenever a new book of hers comes out, life is good. Thankfully she is quite prolific. The reviews were in the English papers weeks ago, and I was checking the bookstores here every few days, and yesterday it had finally arrived. I was happy to buy the hardback edition -her novels will stay on my bookshelves. I have been on a decluttering mission and am getting rid of some books, too. Once upon a time, I imagined my future dwellings with a large library, and I still like the idea. But now I wonder whether certain books we are unlikely to reread (most novels) aren't cluttering our lives. And it makes sense to give them away for other people to enjoy instead of making them a dead object at home. At the moment, my criteria are:
-keep all non-fiction
-keep all children's books
-keep favourite novels (for instance, everything by Siri Hustvedt)
-keep visually beautiful books. Yes.
-keep the classics
-keep some novels I won't reread in the spare room for guests

I might also do some housekeeping here on the blog and with other online stuff -so expect to see some changes soon!