tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64580128410110633522024-03-14T16:19:00.916+00:00A Beautiful HueMarinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.comBlogger465125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-31681135174994473052021-03-11T20:26:00.003+00:002021-03-11T20:26:29.317+00:00Loss and absence, art and nature<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQrH7BdomJ5SMmmKiUCmpQXZnz-gnm2JKlxYbwnE9eqDtQw6YRkZHT9TMn9ujAksFZc8wOLDeubQV7b_cx4eDYJTJRzL3pbgDTm21o4rTvA5ijG3atQgrswWr4qzUuFs2T3aGNrvSX9D8/s2048/CP+Painting+lang+of+loss.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="2048" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQrH7BdomJ5SMmmKiUCmpQXZnz-gnm2JKlxYbwnE9eqDtQw6YRkZHT9TMn9ujAksFZc8wOLDeubQV7b_cx4eDYJTJRzL3pbgDTm21o4rTvA5ijG3atQgrswWr4qzUuFs2T3aGNrvSX9D8/w640-h360/CP+Painting+lang+of+loss.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p></p><p></p><div style="text-align: center;">From <i>Celia Paul: Self-Portrait</i> (Jonathan Cape, London 2019, p.152)</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> <img border="0" data-original-height="1472" data-original-width="2048" height="460" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcoRF_eq8B7g8f7eFTkhLmoz9Rrp3vJQGkNxnohaPcyWtSkhzhrC6AzuCQcca9Zbn8lmCQBWcxTPmL09gkkt2bBhBHYAUCBhKHkbqJYvU6cyyH89sbjvkokP0sC1pT6sHIJ9WKJp_u9JQ/w640-h460/Garden+frost.jpg" width="640" /><span style="color: #0c343d;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0c343d;"> <br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">"A garden is always a series of losses set against a few triumphs, like life itself." May Sarton</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #0c343d;"> </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQY_TUCSj60zfKeIbQHVxknVVRfhdJ20mzObyOrC71cKvtnGRhfK-oDJqeH4DGYdW15ANIbpdEl8Fjv_Hv2xvZ3_LH0JbfbtmY44XZP-0yjqLXRw5lOEwHyzEx8-hFNxH48jbzuM7VYg/s2048/Chardin+pages+2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1494" data-original-width="2048" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifQY_TUCSj60zfKeIbQHVxknVVRfhdJ20mzObyOrC71cKvtnGRhfK-oDJqeH4DGYdW15ANIbpdEl8Fjv_Hv2xvZ3_LH0JbfbtmY44XZP-0yjqLXRw5lOEwHyzEx8-hFNxH48jbzuM7VYg/w640-h466/Chardin+pages+2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">"[W]hen I look at this painting, even in reproduction, even in a black-and-white reproduction, it inspires in me an almost inexpressible tenderness that is close to pain [...] But again, why do I feel like weeping over a glass of water standing near a coffeepot? A real pot and glass of water would never have this effect on me, unless perhaps these objects had belonged to a beloved person who had died [...]</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Chardin's body has left its mark on the canvas, and even though for many viewers that imprint may be subliminal, it is felt - the simpler the subject matter, the more opulent the human presence." </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Hustvedt, Siri: <i>Mysteries of the Rectangle. Essays on Painting</i>, Princeton Architectural Press, New York 2005, pp.35f.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;"> </span><br /></div>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-52983430588940447902021-03-01T22:39:00.002+00:002021-03-21T08:20:18.984+00:00Knits, reads, paints<p><br /></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bBYU-xbbDb-cLjvnCb1sKXbvxIQeR9-URxpUBsm4mcW-sW9F4e-9DiiZATkIotHUbQs0nU5YlmnOW7E0IfFFaA9KG3nD8V7PaE7cjqNroNhgizCWo4WoUA934jDyC0U70jGCtsOIKlM/s2000/knitting+basket+s1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1478" data-original-width="2000" height="472" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_bBYU-xbbDb-cLjvnCb1sKXbvxIQeR9-URxpUBsm4mcW-sW9F4e-9DiiZATkIotHUbQs0nU5YlmnOW7E0IfFFaA9KG3nD8V7PaE7cjqNroNhgizCWo4WoUA934jDyC0U70jGCtsOIKlM/w640-h472/knitting+basket+s1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZh6_eALc5NtejZeV_u10jfou9e1H7KvJOKuHjI9m0tr-A7ljvJ8LTfh-ZxZ9-V1_YCzS4dYzUs0YsQeEWCqRrWkdmhpSrGgNLrMtC2zndfl1K9WRYfabxwTbRvtXkfVwnQArQ5ygWrw/s2048/books1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1646" data-original-width="2048" height="514" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZh6_eALc5NtejZeV_u10jfou9e1H7KvJOKuHjI9m0tr-A7ljvJ8LTfh-ZxZ9-V1_YCzS4dYzUs0YsQeEWCqRrWkdmhpSrGgNLrMtC2zndfl1K9WRYfabxwTbRvtXkfVwnQArQ5ygWrw/w640-h514/books1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlCl59GtEAEymj4m95uCdO1qP4wA5f3_RsuVQrbeTXNsqfKHHnFf88MJ43vWH6lz2eQPX3I2VIadhiRtnyJu67yhRALbVQUU2l2skC9r0hMMI7i6yQio458nYJVcthd6uurEKIQ3lM3Ao/s1080/IMG_5559+%2528Large%2529.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinfmTFuKGxgfnHp0-u0eZmn6ZbWjBeu95uKjzzXFxKv7i60OP4QRCEnZeIIDlzrm-CkMXumhR3KEFKe1S0x1aTeKjXo7wAhr8gXLKXn0g1ziA12F_TC0SE3fPwsBrZKXQJyYmdSXx7Bxg/s1440/IMG_5560+%2528Large%2529.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinfmTFuKGxgfnHp0-u0eZmn6ZbWjBeu95uKjzzXFxKv7i60OP4QRCEnZeIIDlzrm-CkMXumhR3KEFKe1S0x1aTeKjXo7wAhr8gXLKXn0g1ziA12F_TC0SE3fPwsBrZKXQJyYmdSXx7Bxg/w640-h480/IMG_5560+%2528Large%2529.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p> </p><p>| Knitting cushion covers in two-purl-two-knit squares and washcloths with leftover yarn from my <a href="http://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-jumper-and-cardigan.html" target="_blank">jumper</a> (<a href="https://lalocadesigns.wordpress.com/2020/01/24/bamboo-washcloth-free-pattern/" target="_blank">bamboo washcloth pattern</a> by John's cousin Lisa. My <a href="https://www.instagram.com/stitching_the_moon/" target="_blank">sister </a>also makes her own washcloths) - I love spotting and noting random beautiful colour combinations, such as this one in my knitting basket: sage green, mint, magenta and silver grey.</p><p>| This is not my current reading list (I am always late taking photos, and I already posted this on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/CKl6TK4pVxm/" target="_blank">Instagram</a>), but some highlights from last year, though not all recent publications. I am trying to remind myself to incorporate what I learnt from James Nestor's <i>Breath</i> (especially taping my mouth at night and doing coherent breathing: inhale for 5.5 seconds, exhale for 5.5 seconds), Glennon Doyle (stop caring what other people think, for example) and of course Pema Chödrön's wisdom. I read so many self-help books, and while I often take notes, once the books are back on a shelf, it is easy to forget the <i>aha </i>moments. <br /></p><p>| Working on a portrait of John: I am taking a lot of photos along the way, as he has given me permission to use this as an example in the online classes I am teaching, and I might add the work-in-progress shots to my website, if I ever revive the art blog I sporadically update on there (I am thinking of merging it with this one). The above photo is cropped; the painting is portrait format and will include seaweed, flowers and a bee when it is finished, symbols of John's love of nature, gardening and the sea and his new passion beekeeping.<br /></p><p></p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-321591489165928782021-02-17T07:46:00.002+00:002021-03-21T08:18:27.763+00:00Art books: Peter Campbell - Artwork<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcC0zUdFfsAPQCmOg81oUEzZ0HoJt6QlumyirCo6TsJ0vBPJmhiqSYlRyxC04cTB1-OI32fR6XfMoKuQiC72_OHjEHekIlRq1mqJmsMQLjoRcx7e_Zrpvtb3bvNRThXmFjNAZ4QsTYd0g/s2048/IMG_5189.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcC0zUdFfsAPQCmOg81oUEzZ0HoJt6QlumyirCo6TsJ0vBPJmhiqSYlRyxC04cTB1-OI32fR6XfMoKuQiC72_OHjEHekIlRq1mqJmsMQLjoRcx7e_Zrpvtb3bvNRThXmFjNAZ4QsTYd0g/w640-h480/IMG_5189.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgUc1O8wQX4ZULgy6r8RAIOL6bRP5gIa-rtzXaii2rLiqnPICKaJF0VIV3aSxHikxXkXGGawmGmd1MjN9_geslYuPi1i02dvTnMPAbgnKPXUU5mEXShS7izvYebX1pLQmkwQUKkqQT41k/s2048/IMG_5189.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeQfl5R7nzpO6GuiZeDaWvKHg5Yq2M3u0srbQ0OgDfCQwCtqi_LJF6oiT3B9HIkMJtuyM5McMKhjmkB72SjWVWuwsoooDSivRZxr-3hhWeq5qIN7Xxu9L7PzjkxiyZC91QFKFq1iqDR4A/s2048/IMG_5185.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1563" data-original-width="2048" height="488" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeQfl5R7nzpO6GuiZeDaWvKHg5Yq2M3u0srbQ0OgDfCQwCtqi_LJF6oiT3B9HIkMJtuyM5McMKhjmkB72SjWVWuwsoooDSivRZxr-3hhWeq5qIN7Xxu9L7PzjkxiyZC91QFKFq1iqDR4A/w640-h488/IMG_5185.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPBpMYAg0uGnTBzbU4e-WFMuRiRXBvz-iTnH6we2-7GHMBZU7NRiXv_jcauwbnL_ZDaQcyZf4Z0uXIgupqDmn9VoOzAn9O8w-GtueMHECkZ-znsk0fu-hKluswWffl6yJk5ptdWUOpR8/s2048/IMG_5187.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXPBpMYAg0uGnTBzbU4e-WFMuRiRXBvz-iTnH6we2-7GHMBZU7NRiXv_jcauwbnL_ZDaQcyZf4Z0uXIgupqDmn9VoOzAn9O8w-GtueMHECkZ-znsk0fu-hKluswWffl6yJk5ptdWUOpR8/w640-h480/IMG_5187.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN93Qfunva420ZfzLcuneRWGk2tdF1COdiyl0vbfEIj_TW_QiaGrfhKVmyYIwXbYK5wq8F_H7xl0v8HQaMDdykeDYweIxmeQVCMtuXH8QThm4Euq60649X7QC5xvefOimhlXqLgvdF_kc/s2048/IMG_5192.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1541" data-original-width="2048" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhN93Qfunva420ZfzLcuneRWGk2tdF1COdiyl0vbfEIj_TW_QiaGrfhKVmyYIwXbYK5wq8F_H7xl0v8HQaMDdykeDYweIxmeQVCMtuXH8QThm4Euq60649X7QC5xvefOimhlXqLgvdF_kc/w640-h482/IMG_5192.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0GdgLvleNkG8TkpqnmOxxWjmJ8X2k-Bl3KsUH1MK66_TqfcvtcpGxumgApBKwednG02f53Bw5mtgRjM1cDvd9izFpmD4Fz8rA7qxTU9hA6X-L5B4N7y5WYGRU4DeOkxmGfqwntuVFqlY/s2048/IMG_5188.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1565" data-original-width="2048" height="490" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0GdgLvleNkG8TkpqnmOxxWjmJ8X2k-Bl3KsUH1MK66_TqfcvtcpGxumgApBKwednG02f53Bw5mtgRjM1cDvd9izFpmD4Fz8rA7qxTU9hA6X-L5B4N7y5WYGRU4DeOkxmGfqwntuVFqlY/w640-h490/IMG_5188.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><span style="color: #4c1130;">"One mark of an artist is that he or she alerts us to a world. Modest and wholly without pretension this Campbell repeatedly does. Unsurprisingly he was a lovely man." Alan Bennett on <i>Artwork </i>by Peter Campbell</span><br /></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">"Dogs.I thought it was the dog I wanted pictures of, then I found it was dog plus shadows and dog plus spots plus green grass. But I didn't know that until I had taken the pictures. Snapshots are a way of thinking after you have seen something, otherwise you could just have a camera with no film."</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #4c1130;">Peter Campbell, <a href="https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v42/n16/peter-campbell/art-lessons" target="_blank">"Art Lessons"</a>, in <i>London Review of Books</i>, 13 August 2020 </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The second extract is from a lovely piece by Peter Campbell, a letter to "Anna" (Anna Fender) that combines a selection of photographs of Italy with the "art lessons" of the title: his "notes [...] about what I looked at and noticed". He repeatedly emphasises the subjectivity of art and perception: "You would take different pictures and see different things in them". One of the photos, of a Dalmatian walking on grass that is broken up by the shadows of trees branching out, prompts the above observation. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">In a conversational and seemingly effortless tone, Campbell walks Anna and subsequent readers through his snapshots and the thoughts they spark, taking in themes such as composition, architecture, mark-making, light and shadow, abstraction, pattern, and art history along the way. The result is a unique lecture on art appreciation, his own philosophy of art. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Peter Campbell was a Renaissance man (designer, artist, typographer, critic, children's author, amateur botanist) and a vital part of the <i>London Review of Books</i> from when it was first published until his death in 2011. He was the <i>LRB</i>'s designer and art critic and created the cover artwork for every issue over a period of nearly twenty years, mainly in watercolour. The last one was of a view from his window when he was dying: a fox passing by in the street. Apart from the title no text was superimposed on this final cover image.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The letter to Anna prompted us to buy <a href="https://www.londonreviewbookshop.co.uk/on-our-shelves/book/9781781250679/artwork" target="_blank">this book</a><a href="https://www.londonreviewbookshop.co.uk/on-our-shelves/book/9781781250679/artwork" target="_blank"> </a>of Campbell's illustrations and designs and a set of postcards featuring work by Campbell and other artists, including Cressida Bell. <a href="http://petercampbell.org.uk/" target="_blank">This </a>website was created to catalogue his work and make it available to the public. Both the book and the online archive are a treasure trove of his wide-ranging subjects and styles.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;">I am a big fan of <a href="https://mairakalman.com/" target="_blank">Maira Kalman</a>'s work, and while Peter Campbell's illustrations are often more restrained, I find the two artists share a certain whimsy and wit, and both elevate the mundane and ordinary. There is a playfulness to Campbell's work that, together with his deeply caring view of the world, makes the viewer appreciate the beauty of the everyday in new and often surprising ways. You might even fall in love with your washing machine.<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-31610993619245151312021-02-05T11:45:00.000+00:002021-02-05T11:45:00.723+00:00A jumper and a cardigan<div style="text-align: left;"> </div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUcB36quNqNaKxjQ3VwnJx7QGB9O4SogLlIMKwxN1lCx3BJpimJLAHVS7XPkBG0O4DqHkWD9os2hAFhgEGMWqoX-W9kD76Iq3rlBYdUCZZK4QwafaU9IZ7eB4_Ep1121ZS0uz78pDWKyk/s1440/Jumper+1ab.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUcB36quNqNaKxjQ3VwnJx7QGB9O4SogLlIMKwxN1lCx3BJpimJLAHVS7XPkBG0O4DqHkWD9os2hAFhgEGMWqoX-W9kD76Iq3rlBYdUCZZK4QwafaU9IZ7eB4_Ep1121ZS0uz78pDWKyk/w640-h480/Jumper+1ab.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH5xdT-Y6dfKlG1UWl3FgmiT5XZspMnZCJ16vIHAlOEKQ1SHioYrk9oV2OuKWrvB7wWfCip6_9fD9TWp-ZUSMrUDwvS2dgL1uxSieoSzUE4adk4kMW-7sZTDMuZyrK3u4xHwfcWdWuA7o/s2048/Jumper+2a.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgH5xdT-Y6dfKlG1UWl3FgmiT5XZspMnZCJ16vIHAlOEKQ1SHioYrk9oV2OuKWrvB7wWfCip6_9fD9TWp-ZUSMrUDwvS2dgL1uxSieoSzUE4adk4kMW-7sZTDMuZyrK3u4xHwfcWdWuA7o/w640-h480/Jumper+2a.JPG" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiROoZ69spdB9nvcMpyAV0w8_O9wbvVfsca7WlJK6_yWIEcxhy2BD6bONHetLSrKIHxPCXp4nLm0dO02mbwtwjR3io4vOLkgmnVxEkTXU5-wQiwoUn89tux2Xa6cFG3nq7fFju0z7gBSrc/s1086/jumper+4a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="740" data-original-width="1086" height="436" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiROoZ69spdB9nvcMpyAV0w8_O9wbvVfsca7WlJK6_yWIEcxhy2BD6bONHetLSrKIHxPCXp4nLm0dO02mbwtwjR3io4vOLkgmnVxEkTXU5-wQiwoUn89tux2Xa6cFG3nq7fFju0z7gBSrc/w640-h436/jumper+4a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ah31cG88ZGZnOGoD0oa6cfOEt9u5oVANkcm5znwZU8_HGdI4Lbe14ngtnyj723dQYP0hqS5WUl5BTBgpxZAqIl5FEhQJ8ugqWUI-VvcjrbU94TJ3zYx7a_skMiDPWR3rOWNpYKY5ITc/s2048/cardi1b.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1464" data-original-width="2048" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ah31cG88ZGZnOGoD0oa6cfOEt9u5oVANkcm5znwZU8_HGdI4Lbe14ngtnyj723dQYP0hqS5WUl5BTBgpxZAqIl5FEhQJ8ugqWUI-VvcjrbU94TJ3zYx7a_skMiDPWR3rOWNpYKY5ITc/w640-h458/cardi1b.jpg" width="640" /></a></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB1PRAvrHKXluuwO_FN9Yq6KTA7WHOk7jbRgvCsuTbkvM3-2WqpK14beYRoA7OemsyL5HY2QxHphN4ruIS6UuZQHx8dsyorM48SYTUFCTWicEc_9yuzBh6-S8OgcCEP5nJXZSqtM9paBo/s2048/cardi1c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1592" data-original-width="2048" height="498" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB1PRAvrHKXluuwO_FN9Yq6KTA7WHOk7jbRgvCsuTbkvM3-2WqpK14beYRoA7OemsyL5HY2QxHphN4ruIS6UuZQHx8dsyorM48SYTUFCTWicEc_9yuzBh6-S8OgcCEP5nJXZSqtM9paBo/w640-h498/cardi1c.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK25ChjtsJ4Fb6K6gaItflhU-_UunPuFBhFvljuAygjSJUORA8J-7vBEJS6ysX7Sb3a6rZuPQ2_byGqPyBipHulI53jmUjUxhvm02xPfRblFollaL65KHcfr8UpBjP2yHVXLOVsRvM0yA/s2048/cardi+2a.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK25ChjtsJ4Fb6K6gaItflhU-_UunPuFBhFvljuAygjSJUORA8J-7vBEJS6ysX7Sb3a6rZuPQ2_byGqPyBipHulI53jmUjUxhvm02xPfRblFollaL65KHcfr8UpBjP2yHVXLOVsRvM0yA/w640-h480/cardi+2a.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><p> <br /></p><p>These are two of my recent knitting projects. The chunky cable-sleeve cardigan was knitted in a day, and I learnt the <a href="https://www.dummies.com/crafts/knitting/designs-patterns/how-to-knit-in-the-round-with-the-magic-loop/" target="_blank">magic loop method</a> in the process (turns out you don't need circular needles of varying lengths; you can use long ones for small circumferences, too). It bought <a href="https://www.knitsafari.com/collections/chunky-knitting-patterns/products/cable-sleeved-cardi-chunky-knitting-pattern" target="_blank">this </a>pattern from Knit Safari and made it in size S, but I used different wool: Lana Grande from Cascade Yarns, which is 100% Peruvian highland wool and very soft and lightweight. I also love Tiam's designs with big sculptural sleeves and have bookmarked some I might try in the future, but I chose this one as it fits under a coat without being too bulky.</p><p>Making the jumper was a very different experience, and as I was switching between thick needles (I was working on a blanket with 25mm needles at the same time) and thin ones, my first attempt resembled a chain mail, as I didn't knit tightly enough. It is based on a free pattern by Paintbox Yarns ('<a href="https://www.lovecrafts.com/en-us/p/bubblegum-bobble-sweater-free-knitting-pattern-in-paintbox-yarns-wool-mix-aran" target="_blank">Bubblegum Bobble Sweater</a>'), but I spaced out the bobbles more - the original has two extra rows of bobbles between my rows. I also used different yarn again (a cotton/bamboo blend), and I didn't bother making the tension swatch. When I did measure along the way, I stretched the piece, which was another mistake (I do tend to interpret instructions as a rough guide...). In the end my head didn't even fit through the neckband and I had to make the front and back again. </p><p>The result is now a mix of sleeves in XS, as they were fine, and the torso two sizes larger ('to fit bust 91cm', which I am not), but it is still quite small overall, so it works.</p><p>I am happy with how it turned out and didn't mind the extra work - I enjoy the process. Sewing it all together was the hardest part, and my seams are a bit messy. In hindsight cotton/bamboo wasn't the best choice for bobbles, but I just pretend the visible holes are deliberate. There are also some irregularities in the rows of stocking stitch, but I like the wabi sabi look.</p><p>I love bobble patterns - they are so tactile and fun - and am planning to make some cushion covers with bobbles next.<br /></p><p><br /></p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-30270039174118530602021-01-28T18:14:00.001+00:002021-01-28T18:16:49.000+00:00Signs and synchronicities<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> <br /></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKrdCxwnzuNvGr5cG9ssQjZR6B6aC_QNJJs_qrOtt6h1PGx10ffqBSTD9yYGGxyv2e-sEu9MGrLaj_1MB7Qhxpwksrmoj_6C1LnKZlS8K-NGojAa6myLYTcp06M_P2JwRilDlRZEoSsE/s2048/kaleidoscope.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1417" data-original-width="2048" height="442" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiDKrdCxwnzuNvGr5cG9ssQjZR6B6aC_QNJJs_qrOtt6h1PGx10ffqBSTD9yYGGxyv2e-sEu9MGrLaj_1MB7Qhxpwksrmoj_6C1LnKZlS8K-NGojAa6myLYTcp06M_P2JwRilDlRZEoSsE/w640-h442/kaleidoscope.jpg" width="640" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjveL9b7tVU-32GsxtR1aokvxdV3hTKDr9avfwI9YgO6HxZJWqfMX5VKhyphenhyphenTbkgbNRMilVli3EOg3tZ4H_VWQDIm89Zx0Ve0zwG7lkpL6F6OMotEYT2ww4h27clI4H-T8E96DewiyRKMxTE/s2048/ladybird_ring_dog.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1556" data-original-width="2048" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjveL9b7tVU-32GsxtR1aokvxdV3hTKDr9avfwI9YgO6HxZJWqfMX5VKhyphenhyphenTbkgbNRMilVli3EOg3tZ4H_VWQDIm89Zx0Ve0zwG7lkpL6F6OMotEYT2ww4h27clI4H-T8E96DewiyRKMxTE/w640-h486/ladybird_ring_dog.jpg" width="640" /></a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have always been fascinated by so-called coincidences and
signs that seem to arrive at just the right time. Of course, when something is
on our mind a lot, we are bound to notice it more when it seems to pop up
randomly everywhere. But I firmly believe that the energy of our thoughts has
the ability to attract similar energies - see quantum physics (though I am wary of some of the rather
arrogant Law of Attraction claims - that we can manifest anything and if we
don’t, it’s our own fault). </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Ever since I started Joe Dispenza’s meditations, I have been
acutely aware of signs and synchronicities and attuned to their presence; he
talks about it a lot, and some of his meditations include actively choosing an
object or animal or symbol and waiting to see whether it appears in your life
shortly after (there are some incredible testimonials on Youtube about this).
And too much has happened in my own life than can be explained away
rationally. Here are just four examples that hold special meaning for me:</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Kaleidoscopes </b>// At the end of 2019 I had been doing Joe
Dispenza’s kaleidoscope meditations, including a live stream. They required you
to keep your eyes open and gaze into kaleidoscopic patterns in order to get
into a trance.</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Then, when I travelled to Germany for Christmas, my aunt
told me that the museum she volunteers in had an exhibition of…
kaleidoscopes! I had never seen the elaborate machines before and had only been
familiar with the handheld ones we had as kids. So kaleidoscopes had not really featured in my life, and suddenly I found myself in a museum in my
hometown surrounded by them, in the wake of doing kaleidoscope meditations.</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>The lost diamond</b> // Another thing happened around the time I
returned to work following my cancer treatment: I lost the middle
diamond on my engagement ring on one of the first days I was out and about in
the world again. I had been in work and passed
through a lot of places on campus; I had run several errands, so would have visited
shops, walked around town, etc.; I had been pottering around the house and out in
the garden. So when I looked down at the dashboard while
driving home and spotted the empty part of the ring on my hand, I knew there were numerous places I could have lost it. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A couple of days later I was teaching my Saturday class. At
one point I told one of the women about the lost diamond. After my students had left, I tidied and locked
up, but then I suddenly remembered that the
cleaners would be in before Monday and felt I should at least spend some time searching the room. A tiny diamond in the art room was akin to
the proverbial needle in a haystack – the room and store room were far from
tidy (a lot of the groups that use the room leave out their stuff). That week
there must have been crafts activities, as the dirt on the paint-splattered
floor included glitter and, of all things, the odd plastic diamond! So when,
after seconds of scanning the floor, my eyes fell on a shiny diamond in the spot
where I had been standing telling my story to that woman, I
thought it was one of the fake diamonds. But closer inspection revealed that it
had the exact right shape, and it sparkled in a way that the plastic ones
didn’t. I couldn’t believe it. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I took it to the jeweller’s John had bought
it from, and he showed me that a tiny chunk had broken off – something that can happen when you knock the ring against a hard
surface. Because it was the part of the diamond that was set into the ring, he was able
to put it back in securely, and the damage is not visible.</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">John had chosen the ring because he liked the idea of the three stones
symbolising the three sisters, in addition to the other meanings. I am the
middle sister, so when he found out about the broken middle diamond, he said it
was me with part of my lung removed, but still here and stronger than before.</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">---</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Dog’s nose</b> // In February 2020 I had another respiratory infection (a souvenir from the cancer treatment - I had had several
bouts of those, sitting up at night coughing, but this was one of the hardest
ones to shake) and was feeling low; it was one of those times when the weight
of my diagnosis hit me. We were dogsitting for our neighbours that week. A few
days before that I had found a postcard on the floor of the car with a black
dog’s nose and a dragonfly on it. It must have fallen out of the bag of images
that I usually keep in the art room but had taken home for another class – a
mixture of cuttings from magazines, cards, calendar photos, etc. for
inspiration. Now <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found myself crying
in the kitchen, and the dog came up to me and put her head on my lap. The rest
of her was hidden by the table, so looking down I could only see her nose, and
it looked exactly like the dog’s nose on the card that had been in the car. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">---</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Ladybirds </b>// My talisman has always been
the ladybird. After my diagnosis,
my younger sister started sending me ladybird-themed things, including a book
she created with contributions from friends and family in Germany that she had
glued a wooden ladybird on.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Because of those gestures of hers, I had been thinking of ladybirds and willing them to appear when
we watched an episode of ‘The Good Place’ - and lo and behold, in that episode giant ladybirds
were falling from the sky in the afterlife. It was like the Universe was giving me an
unmistakeable sign.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And they continued to show up in unexpected ways, both here and in my sister's world. And it extended further - one day I had coffee with a friend and told her about the
ladybirds, and later that day she sent me a photo: she had got home and found a ladybird earring at the bottom of her handbag that she had no recollection
of putting in there. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">[About a year ago I submitted a much shorter version of this to Agradecida y Poderosa
(a young woman who had stage IV cancer and posts about healing and her
lifestyle – I found her through our shared interests in complementary therapies)
for her series ‘Tu poderosa historia’ on Instagram. There are a lot of similar stories by other patients (all in Spanish).]</span><br /><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></p>
Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-42706107451893158552021-01-23T20:13:00.002+00:002021-03-11T20:23:26.115+00:00Around here<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDQX29w8Dn16ruAbWwZHQic64dEFjyjIDsSNDfOX8j8ejfnFKRyFDo-u3YlJ9vuq_yE9NfnPgpzkqGuWhxAD2ZchmQFGwfWBs8DO66IIdxo1Y5K8Nt3r7jW9_7m66rv9YZVt9UsRcafsw/s2048/ABH+dotty.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1464" data-original-width="2048" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDQX29w8Dn16ruAbWwZHQic64dEFjyjIDsSNDfOX8j8ejfnFKRyFDo-u3YlJ9vuq_yE9NfnPgpzkqGuWhxAD2ZchmQFGwfWBs8DO66IIdxo1Y5K8Nt3r7jW9_7m66rv9YZVt9UsRcafsw/w640-h458/ABH+dotty.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Dotty</i><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgGEeQcAffY0xYhOCEj7C217PStnY5cxJ6InvTc0WJlu9Dm91g2tFx-UWjOfywER5W01749kuDomrxnL-Q093DmQvebR8Yttj6zjXmklUGaJ53LjbG9Pe7nTaIvHvh7fz78hvEty0ibk/s2048/matcha+3s.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1371" data-original-width="2048" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgGEeQcAffY0xYhOCEj7C217PStnY5cxJ6InvTc0WJlu9Dm91g2tFx-UWjOfywER5W01749kuDomrxnL-Q093DmQvebR8Yttj6zjXmklUGaJ53LjbG9Pe7nTaIvHvh7fz78hvEty0ibk/w640-h428/matcha+3s.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Matcha tea ceremony</i><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihgfDW5-qvajLP8h6kGDVFCRduRbyPcw4L1dJU4ErUfTn1V7zk_lEHpsBaR8vocGdS-vBbciKWa2KQTiWGRdKoqTqMBNa3IJwglRPqkszXc_InO645bXMro_kFvlbSqYhN7L5uW4fbXVY/s2048/ABH+fiction.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1475" data-original-width="2048" height="460" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihgfDW5-qvajLP8h6kGDVFCRduRbyPcw4L1dJU4ErUfTn1V7zk_lEHpsBaR8vocGdS-vBbciKWa2KQTiWGRdKoqTqMBNa3IJwglRPqkszXc_InO645bXMro_kFvlbSqYhN7L5uW4fbXVY/w640-h460/ABH+fiction.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Some fiction highlights from last year</i><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVtLcuIWE-KFeL0IjgTc2asxorMORorUIiKalaGZ6KMWKzYMOXBP6_Sy-nehWqmfH-7wThR0Ma1RQ65BJqA1r5wybB7svnVLwalnv0BZZjSecS2nvp1uvrCwchyphenhyphenVxT4kMuaYYwrN9RcHU/s2048/ABH+sideboard.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1340" data-original-width="2048" height="418" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVtLcuIWE-KFeL0IjgTc2asxorMORorUIiKalaGZ6KMWKzYMOXBP6_Sy-nehWqmfH-7wThR0Ma1RQ65BJqA1r5wybB7svnVLwalnv0BZZjSecS2nvp1uvrCwchyphenhyphenVxT4kMuaYYwrN9RcHU/w640-h418/ABH+sideboard.jpg" width="640" /></a><i>Sideboard still life</i><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgySye3PLpSM77zSzz-NbZmU5Spm4QFMwm7KyS6rm2VCtiLZh1dKf_BJwOSoM48VqhnFIIkk2LQiIlA2nNbDRTvIq-k2ABAVXoj7Ur_LgqqLqWyWFntDOFTP6e5clyE7cULriLGfNxRYmI/s2048/John+and+Cillian+wip.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1494" data-original-width="2048" height="466" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgySye3PLpSM77zSzz-NbZmU5Spm4QFMwm7KyS6rm2VCtiLZh1dKf_BJwOSoM48VqhnFIIkk2LQiIlA2nNbDRTvIq-k2ABAVXoj7Ur_LgqqLqWyWFntDOFTP6e5clyE7cULriLGfNxRYmI/w640-h466/John+and+Cillian+wip.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Work-in-progress: John and Cillian</i><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p><p><span style="color: #134f5c;">"She walks back, more slowly, the way she came. How odd it feels, to move along the same streets, the route in reverse, like inking over old words, her feet the quill, going back over work, rewriting, erasing. Partings are strange." O'Farrell, Maggie: <i>Hamnet</i>, Tinder Press, London 2020, p.214</span><br /></p><p> </p><p>| I like to knit all year round, but often abandon it during the summer months. At the end of the year, while on an unplanned break from work due to a health complication (neither cancer-related nor COVID), I picked up my knitting needles again and have been knitting every day since. It can be addictive, and even though I am a morning person, I can see how my sister is able to stay up past midnight while working on a project. You don't notice the time going by, and the movement of your hands keeps you alert, albeit in a lulled, relaxed way.<br /></p><p>| I had been drinking matcha tea for years and John never showed any interest, until one of his favourite podcasts dedicated an episode to it, which prompted him to order a matcha tea set and introduce a weekly ritual.<br /></p><p>| Books are my weakness when it comes to acquiring things (outside of lockdowns I also use the library a lot) - even though there must be dozens of books in the house that I haven't read yet, I keep getting more. I always have several books on the go and make sure at least one of them is fiction, and I exchange books with friends and family and often pass on novels when I am finished with them.<br /></p><p>| Apart from the books that are scattered everywhere, I lean towards minimalism and try to limit clutter (of course everyone has a different interpretation of what constitutes clutter, and the definitions of minimalism are equally varied), but I do get aesthetic satisfaction from the objects surrounding us, including the jars of fermenting kale that are currently fizzing away on the sideboard (not pictured). The <i>Irish Times</i> recently featured <a href="https://www.kopperkreation.com/" target="_blank">Kopper Kreation</a>, a Dublin brand that makes homeware out of reclaimed and recycled materials, and John bought a copper pipe candelabra. It has been brightening up our dinners.<br /></p><p>| A couple of weeks ago, when my energy had returned, I gave my little studio some TLC and am now back in there for hours every day, preparing videos for my art classes, finishing commissions, working on illustrations, and getting started on a new series of personal paintings on wooden boards - as much as I love the texture of canvas, I want to experiment with smooth surfaces.</p><p><br /></p><p></p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-8681021859964521682021-01-15T14:28:00.001+00:002021-01-15T15:32:11.952+00:00Two kinds of light<p> </p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQUnCaQrCu7JnQm5BNLtVcrH0ogUoishUW83ZsJkEXnWRNhHCXQwBJbX0xNB_Lnqtp3Hu6JB_qNvA3rT2B7OcRlzpGp-xyVqqD3oT7vyoqxL-nk0-sM8ahgryao2j_FluLPAtNvt5-aOA/s2048/Goya+1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQUnCaQrCu7JnQm5BNLtVcrH0ogUoishUW83ZsJkEXnWRNhHCXQwBJbX0xNB_Lnqtp3Hu6JB_qNvA3rT2B7OcRlzpGp-xyVqqD3oT7vyoqxL-nk0-sM8ahgryao2j_FluLPAtNvt5-aOA/w640-h480/Goya+1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKIfHkSGT4aey7Vt2JFFLuRbonJiQEDl6GjW6y2YB5Bq6Ro0TynL14TLxvCcjzvp1K4AtNvWPnRGzQjaQYzg0KFU3dHyRbPqwhLYe2MQdGGAx9NQbRYQ6abpb6M6gE7x3sGNFj35pi3c/s2048/Light+on+painting1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZKIfHkSGT4aey7Vt2JFFLuRbonJiQEDl6GjW6y2YB5Bq6Ro0TynL14TLxvCcjzvp1K4AtNvWPnRGzQjaQYzg0KFU3dHyRbPqwhLYe2MQdGGAx9NQbRYQ6abpb6M6gE7x3sGNFj35pi3c/w640-h480/Light+on+painting1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbWa602V2nSY7HnZa68GxcarFvp6WiIgYIIjrYMZghwYCmNgIRBptyKF9NIVzTv653M20m8whKRaqOgqIfFjl3aGudt2ZkVDM-sg29vQtiPJxJyt_HeYwp63TKEFXLUyc_T93z8xRRjJU/s2048/light+on+wall1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1475" data-original-width="2048" height="460" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbWa602V2nSY7HnZa68GxcarFvp6WiIgYIIjrYMZghwYCmNgIRBptyKF9NIVzTv653M20m8whKRaqOgqIfFjl3aGudt2ZkVDM-sg29vQtiPJxJyt_HeYwp63TKEFXLUyc_T93z8xRRjJU/w640-h460/light+on+wall1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /> <p><span style="color: #0c343d;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>"...[T]he light behind the figures seems almost the subject
of the painting, rather than the figures themselves, and there's quite a
melancholy feeling about that, that the light will actually outlast the
figures." (Celia Paul on Goya, from<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZpCKBCpIcI" target="_blank"> "A Conversation with Celia
Paul"</a> by The Huntington on Youtube)</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">“The most valuable thing we can do for the psyche, occasionally, is to
let it rest, wander, live in the changing light of a room, not try to be or do
anything whatever.” <span class="authorortitle">May Sarton</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #0c343d;"><span class="authorortitle"> </span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0cm;">// Light emerging //<br /></p><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span> </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span><span>The print of Francisco Goya's <i>Manuel Osorio Manrique de Zúñiga </i>
(1787-88), also known as the "Red Boy", has been on our bathroom wall
for the past year or so, and I love seeing it every day. It provokes a
feeling similar to the visceral reaction I have to the figures in Diego
Velázquez's <i>Las Meninas</i>, and Celia Paul's words come close to describing
it. The little boy died a few years after this portrait was painted, at
the age of eight.</span> </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>Although this portrait was a commission, it reveals a tender touch and humanity that Goya's other sitters of nobility would not necessarily have been conferred with. There are various interpretations of the symbolism Goya employed and the influence of both Enlightenment and Romanticism that can be found in his work from this phase. Some argue that the portrait contrasts the innocence of childhood with the evils of the world - the latter represented by the animals in their slightly disturbing configuration: the magpie on a leash; the expression on the cats' faces; the caged finches. However, the animals may also simply have been included as the boy's beloved pets, and perhaps as a supporting cast to the ephemeral nature of youth captured in Manuel's features. <br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>Above all, it is the spectral light that keeps haunting me (also one of the reasons I love <a href="http://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2020/07/blog-post.html" target="_blank">Celia Paul</a>'s work so much). </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>And although nobody
could have foreseen the child's fate, the portrait seems strangely prescient: the lost look on his face set against the
opulence of his clothing is poignant, and he appears almost as a ghost, his family's nobility and wealth no guarantee against an early demise.<br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>---- </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>// Wandering light //<br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>The low winter sun has been throwing unexpected patches of light on the surfaces of the rooms, triggering glints on gold frames and other shiny objects, and one morning I caught a moment when its brightness highlighted the diffuse light I had painted on the horizon of a seascape. When I photographed the Red Boy, the window beside the print caused dots of light to appear around it. Observing the movement of light has become a meditation in itself and a starting point for extended daydreaming.<br /></span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span> </span></span> </p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-30140020061524287332021-01-04T13:15:00.000+00:002021-01-04T13:15:26.140+00:00Books: Journal of a Solitude by May Sarton <div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic2h6PL5lyZI5WHr2TRObHG_ueFiLPEdoQSKlh0dmVVGVrZi9S87xg-QuIAj3B8ln-y31UWAFRGjqQzgcVeVLNE2yV3aV3hdRWFEsaQw2ZXsjeUEh9TG6D-i0D6y0fWj-kI1Akk109aA4/s2048/MS1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1743" data-original-width="2048" height="544" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic2h6PL5lyZI5WHr2TRObHG_ueFiLPEdoQSKlh0dmVVGVrZi9S87xg-QuIAj3B8ln-y31UWAFRGjqQzgcVeVLNE2yV3aV3hdRWFEsaQw2ZXsjeUEh9TG6D-i0D6y0fWj-kI1Akk109aA4/w640-h544/MS1.jpg" width="640" /></a> <br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"> </div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8_-TqTX3-PjjI6K2fyL9JOFs1HDNd7S_al5NQkcIwm6qWwMwPWFd5E1HGX00jn0Yvg6Rj_J-u_zQnwEbkXkQ53K4P6Bs6vHSr7fZM2eK2Qb32v83PeZRFFCMt3ZmxEH0Ga3uU40MhQ_c/s2048/MS.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1843" data-original-width="2048" height="576" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8_-TqTX3-PjjI6K2fyL9JOFs1HDNd7S_al5NQkcIwm6qWwMwPWFd5E1HGX00jn0Yvg6Rj_J-u_zQnwEbkXkQ53K4P6Bs6vHSr7fZM2eK2Qb32v83PeZRFFCMt3ZmxEH0Ga3uU40MhQ_c/w640-h576/MS.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXXbaz6QnwKstI0_cnk6fOw6TIPtqmKwVw7MtncjFNs98GYWXUOlEVrg89nqQmHXzrIjhiAyzqPmVtMWQWxQP-X8DkmWuxb3RILZjxsVpBEzbs_L6cxjectK4hG9g7kVv3l91jRHqw2CA/s2048/MS2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1667" data-original-width="2048" height="520" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXXbaz6QnwKstI0_cnk6fOw6TIPtqmKwVw7MtncjFNs98GYWXUOlEVrg89nqQmHXzrIjhiAyzqPmVtMWQWxQP-X8DkmWuxb3RILZjxsVpBEzbs_L6cxjectK4hG9g7kVv3l91jRHqw2CA/w640-h520/MS2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p> <br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #741b47;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Whatever peace I know rests in the natural world, in
feeling myself a part of it, even in a small way.” (Sarton, May: <i>Journal of a Solitude</i>, W.W Norton & Company, New York 1992, p.16)</span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #741b47;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #741b47;">"There is nothing to be done but go
ahead with life moment by moment and hour by hour - put out birdseed,
tidy the rooms, try to create order and peace around me even if I cannot
achieve it inside me. [...] And here in my study the sunlight is that
autumn white, so clear, it calls for an inward act to match it...
clarify, clarify." (ibid., p.33)</span><br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Best known for her poetry, this is one of the journals May Sarton published, of a year in her life in the early 1970s when she was approaching sixty and living on her own in New Hampshire. It is a beautifully written account of life in solitude, her inner world, her connection to nature, the changing seasons, her love of gardening and animals, her writing process, ageing, depression and the meaning of home.</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sarton is honest about her flaws, such as an</span>ger and being
difficult, but her self-criticism is tempered by compassion and serenity. She writes
movingly about the redemption (and the restrictions) of<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>friendship and love, and her journal includes
reflections on politics, race, feminism and literature and extracts of
her correspondence and from other writers’ works. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I love her descriptions of simple pleasures and how she imbues everything with a sense of wonder. I am obsessed with observing the changing light around the
house and the pattern it forms and was delighted to see Sarton detail this play of light and shadow in a lot of her entries. She also creates a vivid picture of the various ways she brings nature into her home - each of those still lifes is seen through her poet eyes. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As I mentioned here before, the theme of home has been a big one over the past year, and so many of the books I read in 2020 happened to have the houses we live in and the homes we leave or lose as well as those we create for ourselves as a central theme, or perhaps I was more attuned to it in the year my childhood home was transformed and I wasn't able to visit my family. And of course I have spent most of the past ten months at home, and the fabric of the house (with all its issues!) has become interwoven with nearly everything I do. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Journal of a Solitude</i> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">is the perfect read for level 5 restrictions / stormy weather / any
time, especially for introverts.</span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> I read this over a stormy couple of days during one of the lockdowns and wanted to re-read it
straight away – it is one of those books that you want to revisit and that
reveals more layers each time. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></span>
</p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-84288899971642613602020-12-31T14:43:00.001+00:002021-01-04T13:32:38.942+00:00Healing tools<p><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /> </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBc3QVnElhp4Jyk6TvvGqerL4Fgmp9uJwTcvtZAL5hWIyo9q7TyRDSRITkde_tAUDB58EXwjaAHN6SFtDjtln3Y76hwuGjMh33paZJfcFSOLVdRmlKKKTixOj8XTLke0jC1aRSfGrGqwM/s1600/rainbow.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBc3QVnElhp4Jyk6TvvGqerL4Fgmp9uJwTcvtZAL5hWIyo9q7TyRDSRITkde_tAUDB58EXwjaAHN6SFtDjtln3Y76hwuGjMh33paZJfcFSOLVdRmlKKKTixOj8XTLke0jC1aRSfGrGqwM/w640-h480/rainbow.jpg" width="640" /></a></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Healing can be a full-time job, though I don't like to think of it as work. But for various reasons I haven’t been able to stick to all of my
routines over the past few months, so the following - incomplete - list is for those who are interested in the tools I have been using in my recovery from stage III cancer and also a gentle reminder to myself. And of course these are not exclusively for cancer patients, nor do you have to have been sick to use these. They are for 'general maintenance' as well as active healing.<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">First of all, I should state that I underwent the standard conventional
cancer treatments and remain under the care of my oncologist, with frequent
surveillance scans. I am lucky to still be in remission and aware how precarious a state that is after the type and stage of cancer I had, and I would never advocate for using alternative treatments at the expense of medical care; I very much put my faith in a combination of conventional and complementary therapies. Everyone has to find what feels right for them. Some patients are happy to be in the hands of their consultants and don't explore other options, and that is their choice and valid, too. <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">When you do a lot of different things, it is hard to pinpoint which individual elements work, and it may well be the mix (and there is no prescribed formula). While I cannot claim that any of this is curative, I have personally experienced miracles along the way, in particular with the complementary therapies (for example feeling vibrant and strong after a session I had walked into depleted and weak from chemoradiation).<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Also, I
believe (and my history is an example of this, as I was doing
all the right things prior to my diagnosis of lung cancer at the age of
34) that you can have the perfect healthy
lifestyle in terms of diet and exercise, but if there is unresolved
trauma,
grief or similar chronic stress, those physical, matter-to-matter aids
can only do so much to prevent
dis-ease. That is why energy healing is so important to me. Of course a
lot of the physical tools go beyond the physical, too, so none of the below are
easy to categorise.</span> <br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Diet</b>: I have always had a healthy diet, but after my
diagnosis I became 95% vegan (I eat eggs every now and again - we have our own hens - and occasionally have
milk, cheese and yogurt). The main aim food-wise has been to incorporate as many vegetables (and
fruit, but to a lesser extent, because of the sugar content) as possible - more than the 5-a-day, a low number adjusted to the Western way of eating - and
mainly eat unprocessed organic food and no refined sugar. We grow some of our own food and get an organic box delivered. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I bought a juicer before I got my full diagnosis - it was one of the things I did in those awful weeks of waiting for test results that helped me feel a bit more empowered and not completely helpless. I started
with a lot of carrot juice, but then switched to greens and have been making
mostly green juices since, as well as smoothies. For a while I was drinking
celery juice every morning (see <a href="https://www.medicalmedium.com/" target="_blank">Medical Medium</a>, though I don’t agree with everything he says) and plan to take it up again in the spring.<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Supplements </b>– I know many patients take an array of supplements, but I didn’t want to get into too strict a regime, and I generally feel we should get
most nutrients via food if possible. It can be overwhelming to navigate the huge selection
of supplements and the claims made about them, and with all my choices I try to
balance adopting helpful habits with not putting pressure on myself (which would create more stress). Having said that, I have tried a few supplements:</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b> </b><a href="https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/cbd-oil-benefits#TOC_TITLE_HDR_8" target="_blank">CBD </a>oil and turmeric were recommended to me by a healer
early on. I haven’t taken the CBD oil in a while, but try to add turmeric to meals
as much as I can or take the capsules. A friend gave me a bottle of</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b> </b><a href="https://draxe.com/nutrition/essiac-tea/" target="_blank">Essiac </a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">when I was waiting for test results, and my sister has been making the concoction
for me ever since. Again, it is something I haven’t kept up, but may return to. I also take B-vitamins or a multivitamin and certain minerals when needed.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Sea-swimming</b>: I started doing this regularly again this year,
and I think that in addition to retreating from the world (largely due to
COVID) this was the reason I haven't had any colds or the flu since - after recurrent respiratory infections following my treatment and especially since my
return to work. And that is just one of its physical benefits - swimming in the sea has been amazing on so many levels and is a spiritual practice in its own right.<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Walking and running</b>: I like exercising on my own, but I did <a href="https://www.parkrun.com/" target="_blank">Parkrun </a>once a month (with a
group from our local cancer centre, led by the resident physiotherapist) before
it had to be cancelled due to the restrictions and trained in the gym of the Cancer Centre once a week. I also joined a running group with my neighbour. All those activities are on pause at the moment. This year I did more walking than running and tried to get in as many forest walks (to add in forest bathing)<b> </b>as possible. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Strength training</b>: I bought dumbbells for the exercises I was given to prepare for surgery and
now do short workouts with them at least once a week. During chemo I lost weight (when I had already been underweight) and my muscles dwindled alarmingly, and I will never take strong arms and legs for granted. Using weights makes me feel strong physically and mentally.<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="https://shaktimat.eu/" target="_blank">Acupressure mat</a></b>: I got one this year, and it is a game changer. Thousands of spikes apply pressure to the skin and muscles, targeting a lot of acupressure points simultaneously. The effect is deeply relaxing, like having a
massage. I use it on my back and on my feet and sometimes rolled up under my neck,
but you can use it for other parts of the body as well. John loves it, too.<br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Yoga</b>: My main yoga practice is hatha and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrmK5WvoJMCAof0LJxuQXqxk" target="_blank">yin yoga</a>, for deep healing,
but I also do some other classes (all via Youtube or with the help of books).</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Yoga Nidra</b>: Something I had done occasionally, but this
year I made it a regular practice, with <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPTRzOxmbZ8" target="_blank">this</a> video my healer sent me.</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Meditation</b>: A friend and seasoned meditator
introduced me to </span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://natural-stress-relief.com/">Natural Stress Relief meditation</a></span>, and it has replaced the <a href="https://drjoedispenza.com/" target="_blank">Joe Dispenza</a> meditations I had been
doing (though I do want to get back to those as well). It is similar to Transcendental Meditation. Ideally you do two sessions of at least 15-20 minutes per day. I find focusing on the mantra (in this case one syllable) helps quieten the chatter in my brain and easily gets me into a trance-like state. </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="https://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/hooponopono-4-simple-steps/" target="_blank">Ho’oponopono</a>: Somebody gave me a printout with this Hawaiian prayer years ago
and it had been sitting in one of my folders. Whenever I came across it I was
intrigued, but only this year, again with a nudge from my healer, I started
practising it properly. I also like to listen to one of <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGd1F6QoHsw" target="_blank">Sandra Rolus</a>'s videos with repetitions of the prayer that you can fall asleep to.</span> <br /></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Aromatherapy: </b>Frankincense has anticancer properties, and
it has become my number one essential oil – I put it in the diffuser during yoga and
meditation. I also use a lot of other oils, depending on what I need or feel like, and I
always have a bottle of lavender oil in my bag. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Deep breathing:</b> I do <a href="https://www.wimhofmethod.com/" target="_blank">Wim Hof</a>'s exercises and use the 4-7-8 technique as
described by Andrew Weil in <i>Spontaneous Healing</i> - breathe in on a count of 4, hold for 7, breathe out on a count of 8, and do this for about five minutes (my hypnotherapist is also a big fan of 4-7-8 breathing).
Since reading James Nestor’s <i>Breathe</i>, I have also started taping my mouth to
encourage nasal breathing, and I try to slow down my breathing to five or six breaths per minute whenever I think of it. </span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Hypnotherapy, visualisations, counselling, energy healing:</b> I had a couple of sessions with my <a href="https://rtt.com/" target="_blank">RTT</a> therapist Rachel Gotto
and continue to use her customised audio recordings. She has also become my mentor
and I schedule Zoom calls with her when I feel the need.<b> </b>A friend who is also a hypnotherapist guided me through visualisations and I use her recordings as well.<b> </b>I regularly see the psycho-oncology counsellor at our cancer centre (a free service) and have calls with a mentor and friend.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b> </b>I do ongoing work with divine clearing therapist and 'spiritual midwife' Dr. Yvonne Murphy (a
recommendation from a friend who also had cancer). Other healers who have helped me
a lot include Jeff McInerney and faith healer Aidan Wrynne. [</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I will do a separate post on these real-life healers and therapists and all the teachers and authors I follow.]</span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have also tried <a href="https://www.thrivingnow.com/gary-craig/" target="_blank">EFT </a>and do the <a href="https://thehealingcodebook.com/registrants/" target="_blank">Healing Code</a> (a similar technique) on myself and others (my mum still does the Healing Code for me twice a day; she is so good). And sound healing - a friend played her Tibetan bowls on me one day, which was incredible, and I listen to videos with the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0F3jCPntOo" target="_blank">Hu chant</a>, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGZjieZrCw8&t=10s" target="_blank">amygdala healing</a> and other <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBkmUBRoHAi7BzMJLXMMOTA" target="_blank">binaural sound therapy</a> and similar. <br /></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Purpose:</b> Another topic for a separate post, but one of the key factors in healing, is finding and following your purpose. Of course that is rarely just one thing. For me, painting and drawing is up there (something I had neglected before getting sick), as are family and friends, writing, being of service, and living a simple life, one that aligns with my values.<br /></span></p><p><b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Gratitude and slowing down: </span></b><span style="font-family: inherit;">Prioritising what is important, not sweating the small stuff. Being present with whatever is happening and whatever I am doing. A friend gave me a gratitude jar when I was diagnosed, and even on the darkest days I managed to find something to write on one of the coloured pieces of paper, and I make a point of reflecting on things to be grateful for every day.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Doing things that bring joy, relaxation, meaning</b>: All of the above and more. Art, reading, writing (including Morning Pages), gardening, playing and listening to music, conversations, community, being out in nature, walking, sea-swimming, cooking and baking, play and laughter come to mind. <br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-11382682980107565292020-09-23T11:53:00.001+01:002020-09-23T11:53:17.500+01:00Silence and Quiet (and kale)<div class="separator"><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </p><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></p><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></p><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></p><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></p><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></p><p style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></p><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD7u7aedPqkZhPtE339r7lr3EOb-z8uTkX9ppB0eQOMfeX53z1R4VbYp8HP31DP6x5ZBaO48N_CsE6E9Ija-GNc7SP34A1HqqZHdjQDsto01C1MIhI79YjupdLpDA3FjLqD8xeebgO0bc/w640-h480/02+silence.JPG" width="640" /></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p><p></p><p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixc6jfD-sN2V5kCoTVwUeWKNY7btmkS2602JHw3qPCtLOEAq8EVrQCN-5QPuFoq00M9Brr7llMEICHy621mjcxaaLUifTNbPEN53dHHs8K3Syp_buhJWGN1gBd1qV6Wxvma0wpSVf0dtE/s2048/03+shadows.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1653" data-original-width="2048" height="516" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixc6jfD-sN2V5kCoTVwUeWKNY7btmkS2602JHw3qPCtLOEAq8EVrQCN-5QPuFoq00M9Brr7llMEICHy621mjcxaaLUifTNbPEN53dHHs8K3Syp_buhJWGN1gBd1qV6Wxvma0wpSVf0dtE/w640-h516/03+shadows.jpg" width="640" /></a></p><div style="text-align: left;"> </div><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiukw9_cBLXY5ewXz6ceMH4uf4NYF0TZeooh_swLSZ-97WJGlwhWrw9Wg1QExUenlZoKnL1njep-475DrzPIHSl6SgmEr9jbtIsbzMMsfOeB3ikWIUfwucmqbLiPAGpsr3hw_biE1S1T7E/s2048/01+kale.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiukw9_cBLXY5ewXz6ceMH4uf4NYF0TZeooh_swLSZ-97WJGlwhWrw9Wg1QExUenlZoKnL1njep-475DrzPIHSl6SgmEr9jbtIsbzMMsfOeB3ikWIUfwucmqbLiPAGpsr3hw_biE1S1T7E/w640-h480/01+kale.JPG" width="640" /></a></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR4iilcJS5Viq4eExKAlRJc8I-ycPkb9jsDaYcATfKdZBS5Ks9LN9pBiIkamwSas9dZOr3ehMR6gNjHPAfwjWATwx56oyjKKaldOCA93AbKIy1j8bFBTFyvCsbuyLAVBKMaF9emEFwCRo/s2048/04+light.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1578" data-original-width="2048" height="494" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR4iilcJS5Viq4eExKAlRJc8I-ycPkb9jsDaYcATfKdZBS5Ks9LN9pBiIkamwSas9dZOr3ehMR6gNjHPAfwjWATwx56oyjKKaldOCA93AbKIy1j8bFBTFyvCsbuyLAVBKMaF9emEFwCRo/w640-h494/04+light.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Some snapshots from the last few months:<br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">1 | The perfect book pair. I had been meaning to read Susan Cain's <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2012/mar/22/quiet-power-introverts-susan-cain-review" target="_blank"><i>Quiet. The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking</i></a> ever since its publication spawned myriad articles, talks and interviews. This summer I finally bought it in a small independent bookshop in West Cork (sometimes it is nice to wait for serendipity - I will always remember where I got this book). It has helped me focus on the positive sides of my (often extreme) introversion instead of beating myself up for the downsides, of which there are many: to name just one example, in my thirties I still have a phone phobia that means I have to settle and prepare myself in a quiet room to ring places such as the dental surgery, and I will shake when making those calls.<br />My sister-in-law gave me explorer Erling Kagge's book <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/sep/23/the-power-of-silence-in-the-smartphone-age" target="_blank"><i>Silence in the Age of Noise</i></a>, and I read his philosophical vignettes parallel to <i>Quiet</i>. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">2 | Light-and-shadow patterns in the living room <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">3 | Kale is officially this year's polytunnel star - it has been thriving. I add it to nearly every meal I make and we have been giving a lot away, yet I still cannot keep up. <br />Cut off in the corner of this photo is my paperback of <i>The Dutch House</i> by Ann Patchett, another book that had been on my list for a while and that also 'came to me' when I was browsing that new-to-me bookshop on holiday. I had given my mum a hardcover copy a year earlier. Patchett is one of my favourite writers, and this may well be my favourite novel of hers - it also fit perfectly with <a href="http://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2020/05/birthday-houses-and-home.html" target="_blank">my ongoing preoccupation with the symbolism of houses </a>(I still have strange dreams about my childhood home). I love the story behind the painting on the cover: Patchett commissioned an artist friend, <a href="http://www.noahsaterstrom.com/home/paintings" target="_blank">Noah Saterstrom</a>, to paint one of the main characters for the book jacket, and the mesmerising portrait has taken on a life of its own. <br />Speaking of paintings, I only realised after I had taken the photo of the kale bouquet that John is in it twice - on the couch in the background and in the painting on the wall, both in profile and in the same shirt! <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">4 | More light at play. An (indoor) plant that hasn't been thriving is the money plant a friend and former housemate gave me over ten years ago when she moved out. It is down to a stump, with some struggling tiny green leaves that I won't give up on. I am fairly certain that where we put it is not the correct location according to Feng Shui, but refuse to worry about what this might signify. But the citrus trees are doing well, thanks to John's green fingers and my nephew's diligent watering (it is one of the first things he will check whenever he visits - he loves refilling the drip-watering glass bird planters). </div><div style="text-align: left;">We have the late <a href="https://www.rte.ie/culture/2020/0406/1128787-tim-robinson-remembered-listen-to-a-classic-rte-interview/" target="_blank">Tim Robinson</a>'s Burren map in the living room (from where we can look out across the bay at the Burren) and his Aran Islands map in the guest room.<br /></div><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><br /></p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-28831354778118097762020-09-08T22:03:00.000+01:002020-09-08T22:03:51.020+01:00In the studio<p> </p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGjVbaW3_e9tBd76b39_MAW2PKAMoyqbWAz7PYMK2efirdVpuHjA6SN-zG4tdLdCi9QfgCaGb7aPkWdTqq2jCJPDwfuHJ5qSsKMw_o2Mr1QSWp9keQZT1wNzbpzvKxIuv0q-WYYcdyd2Q/s2048/ABH+tools2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGjVbaW3_e9tBd76b39_MAW2PKAMoyqbWAz7PYMK2efirdVpuHjA6SN-zG4tdLdCi9QfgCaGb7aPkWdTqq2jCJPDwfuHJ5qSsKMw_o2Mr1QSWp9keQZT1wNzbpzvKxIuv0q-WYYcdyd2Q/w781-h586/ABH+tools2.jpg" width="781" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p><p></p><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGEP_H9J25ulOVRnIaqvHalII3NNNO8eW2d-Kb6EVahm-5a3_XR9rN4i-w3Vc3aGlWw4Zy90sCGEcRbQifFF1OZoFV68DI4ZCZmSBVOAL9UxKRHJV7u4_sOs0a79ofKfJctRvTTLH9vN0/s2048/ABH+letterpress+tray.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGEP_H9J25ulOVRnIaqvHalII3NNNO8eW2d-Kb6EVahm-5a3_XR9rN4i-w3Vc3aGlWw4Zy90sCGEcRbQifFF1OZoFV68DI4ZCZmSBVOAL9UxKRHJV7u4_sOs0a79ofKfJctRvTTLH9vN0/w781-h586/ABH+letterpress+tray.JPG" width="781" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-zOrQ2pTkhbDkDMTLZORoiuBCgU51YLMuD_CV4qB0cnLrjC-vnZEEx7J3pc4-RaWAcIRRcN5ESjBMMhSz6aLaeSZ3eB2A7gytzZeutt57BIj9zBTkHGlVdXlsWyFTu3iVReAt1lIm3g/s2048/ABH+mannequin.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd-zOrQ2pTkhbDkDMTLZORoiuBCgU51YLMuD_CV4qB0cnLrjC-vnZEEx7J3pc4-RaWAcIRRcN5ESjBMMhSz6aLaeSZ3eB2A7gytzZeutt57BIj9zBTkHGlVdXlsWyFTu3iVReAt1lIm3g/w781-h586/ABH+mannequin.JPG" width="781" /></a></div><p></p><p></p><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixJ380fXeFFUm6kN8YCArEvJxUh7cdmxs2DNdKQB_ykiw8o_gYG8zpbaGAWfyB0yDwO25Lm9ts7xlBLkG-B5JvW4qoLq6HSpbFHpWjLubE9ULpePjVCPEZzvfYyiwfOb9Suaj7EMkWxBw/s2048/ABH+oils.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixJ380fXeFFUm6kN8YCArEvJxUh7cdmxs2DNdKQB_ykiw8o_gYG8zpbaGAWfyB0yDwO25Lm9ts7xlBLkG-B5JvW4qoLq6HSpbFHpWjLubE9ULpePjVCPEZzvfYyiwfOb9Suaj7EMkWxBw/w781-h586/ABH+oils.JPG" width="781" /></a></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFCHGiJYG1TJz1e51FxOVhRLFz8NUKrbU-aP2X2I-lviC06PmxCZTxNEPKxIaquxsO6bFyWXSJqfoAtz7kYUHvmL9P4RpPoAswUlv3QeLLOZEnTtUszfxkj7yqpprAMv2yciV6fVwmkM0/s2048/ABH+Milner.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFCHGiJYG1TJz1e51FxOVhRLFz8NUKrbU-aP2X2I-lviC06PmxCZTxNEPKxIaquxsO6bFyWXSJqfoAtz7kYUHvmL9P4RpPoAswUlv3QeLLOZEnTtUszfxkj7yqpprAMv2yciV6fVwmkM0/w781-h586/ABH+Milner.JPG" width="781" /></a></div><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2RiUM8bZme-UlH4rj49qT3cdmsjefDB9S_1jsIk5WmzFx2zMtMQH8crRRUFU8HaO0ubbGtH0BMD3lG0QLBzY-BDUDjfVPQiN9Bb2nu1L4ufQHvKvLHVAsnFdlLjLRPx-iP7nZadHsAE/s2048/ABH+portrait+and+plants.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="586" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja2RiUM8bZme-UlH4rj49qT3cdmsjefDB9S_1jsIk5WmzFx2zMtMQH8crRRUFU8HaO0ubbGtH0BMD3lG0QLBzY-BDUDjfVPQiN9Bb2nu1L4ufQHvKvLHVAsnFdlLjLRPx-iP7nZadHsAE/w781-h586/ABH+portrait+and+plants.JPG" width="781" /></a></div><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p><br /></p><p></p><p>Just a few glimpses of my studio/office (a spare room in our house), where I am spending even more time now that I am also teaching remotely:<br /></p><p><br /> 1 | I have four of these <a href="https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/maleras-picture-ledge-bamboo-00446237/" target="_blank">bamboo picture ledges </a>in two rows on one wall, with finished canvases and paintings that are drying. On the wall opposite I put this one up behind my desk to keep pencils, pens, small brushes and other supplies I use frequently within reach, but where they don't clutter up my desk. This is currently the backdrop for the majority of my video calls and classes. <br /></p><p>2 | One of these skinny drawers (which are great for storing work on paper) holds an antique letterpress tray I got John as a gift, with the type pieces he had bought. We use these to make cards and similar and are going to create the text for our next picture book with them. The plan is to get a glass lid made for the tray and put it on a frame with legs, so it can be used as a side table, but for now it is stored away in this drawer.<br /></p><p>3 | I have a couple of desk easels for smaller canvases and one standing easel. I try to paint standing at the large easel as much as possible, and the desk easels are great for displaying work-in-progress, as I tend to have several paintings on the go at any one time and like being able to have them all in view.<br /></p><p>4 | For oil paintings I mainly use water-mixable oils, for environmental reasons and so I don't have to breathe in turpentine fumes and other toxic solvents. Cleaning up is much easier with these, too. I bought a Dyson purifying fan heater (with a cooling function and a detailed analysis of potential pollutants) a few months ago, as I was worried about the air quality in the room, but it tells me everything is in the green range, so that is reassuring. We also had the house tested for radon after I was diagnosed with lung cancer as a young non-smoker. I try not to worry too much about all the external factors that may contribute to cancer, and some, such as electromagnetic radiation, are beyond my control to a large extent, but it gives me peace of mind to have these tests done. </p><p>5 | <a href="https://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2013/01/a-door-between-me-and-world-on-marion.html" target="_blank">Marion Milner's books</a> have their own shelf (most of my art books are kept in this room). I have started using my ink pen (not pictured) and bottled ink more again. The beautiful glass pen was a present from my aunt - I had kept it at my mum's house for years and finally took it with me after my last visit. </p><p>6. We have plants in every room of the house and I am trying to keep these two happy. The vegetation in the self-portrait is a field with thistles close to my childhood home in Germany.</p><p>---<br /></p><p>The window is to the right of my desk and I can see a large part of the garden, including our three new hens and one of our bird feeders. There is a white horse in the field across the road, which offers some consolation in the wake of the departure of 'our' beloved donkeys that used to come to the wall in our back garden. They must have been moved to a different field, as that land was sold recently. We miss them a lot.<br /></p><p>I have rituals around working from home that I have been using for years to mark some sort of division between work and home life (though the lines are blurred), but now they have taken on extra significance. At the moment I am recording videos for some of my classes, and I plan my outfits, jewellery and nail polish for those, whereas on days nobody will see me I put on my large painting jumper or apron (I am looking into sustainable boiler suits and dungarees for more coverage, even though I am not that messy a painter, but I still manage to get stains on unlikely areas of my clothes).</p><p>In any case I attempt to generate a 'going to work' feeling by getting ready as if I were leaving the house. This also involves a few morning routine clichés such as meditation, a yoga sequence, making celery juice and writing my morning pages. I air the room for a few minutes and clap to clear stagnant energy, and I mix essential oils for the diffuser that are stimulating and help with concentration or create an uplifting atmosphere, so a lot of peppermint, rosemary, clary sage, geranium, lemon, orange and lemongrass. There are endless mugs of (mostly herbal) tea and some of them get spoiled by accidentally dipping my brush in them, but I try not to eat in this room (as I want to eat mindfully - nothing to do with weight control; I am trying to put on weight!), though snacks will find their way in here. <br /></p><p>I have <a href="https://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2014/01/my-laughing-buddha.html" target="_blank">my laughing Buddha</a> on a bookshelf to the left of my desk and a stuffed elephant my younger sister made for me on my desk for a similar reason (or up on a shelf when I am recording videos for children and the elephant represents my audience - this was a tip we were given) - it keeps me in touch with my inner child and the playful side of life and is a reminder not to take anything too seriously.<br /></p><p><br /></p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-83615275891099847002020-08-25T13:27:00.002+01:002020-08-25T13:27:47.052+01:00Walking, swimming and Sufjan Stevens<p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><p></p><p style="text-align: left;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqzGb5QVo8HYWnNlp8_wVGn6a298y5a7tvJAUFZVcTA47j1bc1KNtbNwW6V25w5R6dOX4YfzSqERFN-PZHwtwos7EK5qbL5Y79vBJa0hd47_A6dUfIM7aamjvl5XPvLeofskpZc4YOzGc/s1024/abh4.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqzGb5QVo8HYWnNlp8_wVGn6a298y5a7tvJAUFZVcTA47j1bc1KNtbNwW6V25w5R6dOX4YfzSqERFN-PZHwtwos7EK5qbL5Y79vBJa0hd47_A6dUfIM7aamjvl5XPvLeofskpZc4YOzGc/s640/abh4.jpg" width="640" /> </a><br /></p><p></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">"Going barefoot in nature immediately helps clear your energy. Stepping out onto the sand, putting your feet into the ocean, hugging a tree, all of these clear your energy. Nature is an incredible neutraliser of energy." Anita Moorjani</span><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">A lot of my routines have fallen by the wayside. The fatigue has been acting up quite a lot lately and I am technically on holidays, so I took a break from my normal day-to-day, including elements of my healing-from-cancer regime. I am aware that I put a lot of pressure on myself to do all the right things, and that pressure equals stress, which is what 'all the right things' are supposed to ease... I am still trying to find a rhythm that allows me to trust the process and not beat myself up when I fall short of my often unfeasible expectations. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Exercise is an antidote to fatigue, though I have a tendency to overdo it and then pay for it the following day(s). And sometimes only proper rest will help. But while I haven't touched the dumbbells and haven't done any running for a few weeks, gentle exercise such as walking and swimming has been a salve.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNqAWL8GRZsLicmYKYesZN1Gjqvd5GrLF2Lqe1ZUcYeNLJXxqYQ8rQlxnKdHZmR6uNXLGojVejtliLDBBmOLadLE3v51FqE7gCTeRi9s7_NZK4Ar5eORm5wu2aJpNUX-05FHIltOgFv_A/s2048/abh2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="2048" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNqAWL8GRZsLicmYKYesZN1Gjqvd5GrLF2Lqe1ZUcYeNLJXxqYQ8rQlxnKdHZmR6uNXLGojVejtliLDBBmOLadLE3v51FqE7gCTeRi9s7_NZK4Ar5eORm5wu2aJpNUX-05FHIltOgFv_A/s640/abh2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Stripey symphony: My sister and nephews in the Burren - hats made by my sister</span><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">John and I went away for a few days (within Ireland) and did a lot of hiking - since the lockdown walking has become a huge part of our life. In recent weeks I have walked around islands (Cape Clear and Omey Island, Inis Oírr - we cycled around the latter), in forests, on beaches, Greenways, the karst landscape of the Burren, on the loops near our house, 5km along the rocky shoreline to a pub and returning via the coast road. We have walked together (often in silence) and each on our own, with family and friends, with dogs, and with strangers: I took part in a <a href="https://www.yaycork.ie/stressed-out-give-forest-bathing-a-go-in-courtmacsherry-woods-this-friday/" target="_blank">forestbathing session</a> with a lovely group and two
wonderful guides and hugged a lot of trees on my personal forestbathing
forays.<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The old runners I have been wearing in lieu of hiking boots are
now falling apart, and on the recommendation of a friend I am tempted to
buy a pair of <a href="https://www.revivo.com/womens" target="_blank">recycled barefoot boots</a>. Feeling the texture of the ground is like a foot massage (I also regularly walk barefoot
in the garden or on the beach to ground myself) and
the balancing act of walking on a rocky shore or any other uneven surface makes you use
different muscles in your legs. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I still go swimming in the sea at least twice a week, and it was a joy to explore other beaches and find hidden swimming spots. We took my nephew to Inis Oírr and swam in clear turquoise water. On Cape Clear I waded into the water among rocks covered in shells and emerged with bleeding scrapes all over my legs, from what had felt like lightly brushing against the stones as I floated. I loved even that. Being in cold water makes me feel so alive. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnOD6uPEEguqGdNoDU5vDjeBfVkDRtnXCKqd-_T0Pp8sU1dgy397HskHLJnPXXIfHYUGSodVzyS5uRpIJDWWaLWnZkqImQiJjkVxGpqyVRQCxi-Zu-pYQBn4uuj1FCRh_DYD_pnX0CSI8/s1024/abh.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="768" data-original-width="1024" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnOD6uPEEguqGdNoDU5vDjeBfVkDRtnXCKqd-_T0Pp8sU1dgy397HskHLJnPXXIfHYUGSodVzyS5uRpIJDWWaLWnZkqImQiJjkVxGpqyVRQCxi-Zu-pYQBn4uuj1FCRh_DYD_pnX0CSI8/s640/abh.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: small;">On the ferry to Inis Oírr</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">I spent the Irish heatwave of 2018 indoors suffering the side effects of aggressive chemotherapy and radiotherapy and unable to handle the hot weather. Last year I stayed covered up (the advice was to do so for a year following radiotherapy) and didn't swim until September. This year I have been exposing the surgery scar on my back and my radiotherapy tattoos with abandon (and <a href="https://tropicskincare.com/products/great-barrier-sun-lotion" target="_blank">SPF 50</a>). Sometimes those souvenirs catch me by surprise when I see them or when my hand touches the scar in the shower - it all still feels unreal - and I marvel at what my body has been able to do since I finished treatment.<br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhta6EJtP_m5i2QRGUABThW_j-0MTIkB4E7A1I_R1TbE1nDx1MvKt6WfaVD1LfvyAiMHBuISvJcxVgC0eCywjWzhLl2YcReEqp0n2G-W_lv7pkFSa1ShumOzeN74HTunQtHIlCmCdq82mk/s1920/abh1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1920" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhta6EJtP_m5i2QRGUABThW_j-0MTIkB4E7A1I_R1TbE1nDx1MvKt6WfaVD1LfvyAiMHBuISvJcxVgC0eCywjWzhLl2YcReEqp0n2G-W_lv7pkFSa1ShumOzeN74HTunQtHIlCmCdq82mk/s640/abh1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">The soundtrack to these last few months has been at least 50% Sufjan Stevens, an all-time favourite. One of the songs I have been playing on repeat for the past couple of years ("Casimir Pulaski Day") is about remembrance and cancer and I connect with it on so many levels. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dM0Jphnp3hw" target="_blank">This concert</a> from 2006 is one I keep returning to. I almost feel I am in the audience when I watch this, and something about the overall aesthetic and the atmosphere - the wings, the uniforms, the group dynamic on stage, and of course the music - gets me every time ("Casimir Pulaski Day" starts at the 6-minute mark).</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br /></div><p></p>Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-85597508947223443972020-07-29T11:39:00.001+01:002020-09-14T22:05:38.920+01:00Books: On Chapel Sands by Laura Cumming<div>
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<span style="color: #800180;">"The Misses Williamson inspired in her the gift of transforming the everyday that has enriched my whole life." Cumming, Laura: <i>On Chapel Sands</i>, Chatto & Windus, London 2019, p.145*</span></div>
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Laura Cumming writes about art like no other critic and with great sensitivity and empathy towards her subjects, evoking the life behind the work. Her books on<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2009/jul/19/review-laura-cumming-art-book" target="_blank"> self-portraits</a> and <a href="https://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2017/11/books-vanishing-man-by-laura-cumming.html" target="_blank">Velázquez</a> were both outstanding, and her most recent, a memoir about her mother and thus a deeply personal project, is no exception - I read it in April and still think about it almost every day.</div>
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The photograph shown in the last image above is reproduced early on in the book and then again at the very end, with a revelation that moved me to tears (not the only time while reading this book) and that has been hinted at in some articles and reviews, but I don't want to include any spoilers here. </div>
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Cumming's art critic's eye is evident throughout and she brings alive the art of famous artists (Bruegel's "Fall of Icarus" is central to the book) as well as artworks by her relatives, some acknowledged and celebrated during their lifetime - her father's, who died prematurely of cancer -, others hidden and only freed from obscurity through this labour of love - the photograph that looks like a Vermeer painting, taken by her grandfather, a "travelling salesman who would like to have been an artist", with dreams unfulfilled and buried. Her mother was a gifted artist who gave up painting when she got married, as she felt there "was only room for one painter", but she took up weaving instead, painting compositions with wool. </div>
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Cumming unravels her mother's life and the secrets around her disappearance as a young child (when she was abducted from the beach) with the help of images, constructing a biography via the interpretation of pictures both real - photographs, paintings - and those formed in the mind. She also quotes passages from her mother's own memoir, which like her daughter's is beautifully written and was a birthday gift to Laura. The book is suffused with her mother's artistic sensibility and ability to "transform the everyday".</div>
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I don't write detailed book reviews here, and I am hesitant to sum up the content. I noticed that a lot of the marketing centered on the kidnapping, a sensationalist approach that is misleading and does the book a disservice. While the book does relate a real-life mystery, there are so many layers to it: It is about family and memory, community and the individual, the psychology of identity and consciousness, art, the power of images and objects, silence and lies, class, the sea, and most importantly, about love in its many forms. It is a delicate and intimate piece of life writing and an exquisite meditation on loss.</div>
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*The US title is <i>Five Days Gone: The Mystery of My Mother's Disappearance as a Child</i></div>
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See also: Laura Cumming talks about <i>On Chapel Sands</i> in <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/09/26/books/interview-laura-cumming-five-days-gone-mothers-disappearance.html" target="_blank">this interview</a> in <i>The New York Times</i></div>
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Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-32650093608678600892020-07-17T23:18:00.002+01:002020-07-17T23:19:12.446+01:00Portraits<div>
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I have been painting and drawing a lot of people and animals, especially portraits of family and friends. If anyone is interested, I posted some <a href="https://www.marinawild.com/blog/portraits" target="_blank">work-in-progress photos</a> of two of the paintings above on my long-neglected art blog (though the plan is to merge the two blogs in an effort to simplify). At one point I had all my nephews keeping me company in the studio, albeit in 2-D!</div>
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While I sometimes have people sit for me, the examples shown here were all based on photographs and screenshots of paused videos - the latter works very well, as I can choose the 'pose' from a much wider range. I tend to start out with a very rough sketch and let the face emerge gradually.</div>
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In Enda's portrait (third picture above - when he was one year old and pre-haircut, for those who know him only with short hair) he is wearing a soft knitted top my sister had made for him that is tied at the back with a ribbon. I loved painting the stocking stitch and the ribbon and the light in his hair. With Henry (fourth picture) it was the oval of the snap fastener on his little shoulder that caught my attention - sometimes it is those small details that I find particularly poignant.</div>
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Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-35738319444883657302020-07-03T17:56:00.002+01:002020-07-28T16:06:59.568+01:00Love, compassion, light: Celia Paul's Self-Portrait<div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdD4H0Dww8d6Eld0MOiY3MySH7lVse9YKld4hJ_iIWm4lg6p-xm3UTtoJcd-92VkRTRwk5B2Qv77gNqc-Gu9T7fORPqRAsMzaIjx_H-kgPjMUeUEHbhZQ9ktncI4HYcrKnxdXYiEofy1E/s4608/CPcover.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="3456" data-original-width="4608" height="469" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdD4H0Dww8d6Eld0MOiY3MySH7lVse9YKld4hJ_iIWm4lg6p-xm3UTtoJcd-92VkRTRwk5B2Qv77gNqc-Gu9T7fORPqRAsMzaIjx_H-kgPjMUeUEHbhZQ9ktncI4HYcrKnxdXYiEofy1E/w625-h469/CPcover.JPG" width="625" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/nov/20/self-portrait-celia-paul-review" target="_blank">This memoir</a> by the artist Celia Paul has accompanied me for the last few months, moving from bedside table to coffee table to dining table to my desk in the studio. I read it almost in one go, but I have been going back over certain passages and revisiting the reproductions of her work and the photographs.</div>
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While substantial parts of the book are about Lucian Freud (another artist whose work I admire - Celia Paul was one of his lovers and muses and they had a son together), she emphasises that he is made part of <i>her </i>story instead of the other way around, "as is usually the case". </div>
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I was more intrigued by her relationship with her family and her mother in particular and the work that arose (and continues to arise) from those family bonds. Her paintings of her mother and of her sisters are very moving and tender. Paul does not consider herself a portrait painter, but rather an "autobiographer and chronicler" of her life and her family, telling their story in images. </div>
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The memoir charts finding her own voice as an artist and breaking away from the role of the muse. So many artist couples have played out the dynamic of the woman making sacrifices that enable their partner to thrive. Paul shares a lot of insight into the challenges and obstacles to becoming an artist that women face and offers up her experience of working out "a strategy" to carve out the solitude that is essential for making art. This involves not living with her husband, as she needs to have her own private space*. She also talks about the conflict between motherhood and artistic creation, how being with her son makes her unable to work, as "all my concerns are for him" when he is present, and how she feels the guilt and separation acutely. </div>
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZpCKBCpIcI" target="_blank">This interview</a> includes interesting observations about Paul's connection to other artists (I love her voice; she emanates such calm and poise). She feels "this moral quality to Constable, this kind of love and compassion that comes through...", informed by familiarity with the subject matter: "you can't do anything unless you understand it". As she writes in her memoir, </div>
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"I only ever work from people and places that I know well. This insider knowledge gives me freedom to take liberties with the forms and structures of the faces and figures, the clouds, the waves, the houses. [...] If I know my subject well, it's almost as if I don't need to look at them in order to give them intense attention, and yet I need their physical presence." </div>
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(Paul, Celia: <i>Self-Portrait</i>, Jonathan Cape, London 2019, p.3)</div>
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This is what gives her paintings their intimate and empathic quality. Even in reproductions in print or on the screen the spectral light in her paintings is powerfully conveyed - her work contains a "juxtaposition of the mystical with direct observation" (p.5). Her mother would regularly travel to London from Cambridge, climb the 80 steps to Paul's flat and pose for long periods of time, during which both artist and sitter would enter into a meditative, elevated state. Paul often uses spiritual language to describe the process of painting people, and her sisters and husband also give their perspective of what it is like to sit for her, by all accounts a transcendental experience.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlOINMFOMHNg8-R3CcQY9TWMnH5IbdOwFaftfYTJ6x172QxoMwyNr6mgGzqnvFM7pJXYCJ4vwSw1Prd1yqKcHjquBNu0qZhFJ4kYQ5CVHIBiY22Ape4AeObp0u81__LpbqpHgbuuKRkk0/s1053/CP+mother+and+Frank.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="983" data-original-width="1053" height="585" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlOINMFOMHNg8-R3CcQY9TWMnH5IbdOwFaftfYTJ6x172QxoMwyNr6mgGzqnvFM7pJXYCJ4vwSw1Prd1yqKcHjquBNu0qZhFJ4kYQ5CVHIBiY22Ape4AeObp0u81__LpbqpHgbuuKRkk0/w625-h585/CP+mother+and+Frank.jpg" width="625" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>
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In the interview the curator asks her about the evanescence of her seascapes and Paul reveals that she only really started working from water after her mother's death, when "forms broke up, nothing seemed permanent. So my subject seemed to be water, in a new way." She also talks about her "struggle between dark and light", with the light always emerging from the darkness, and the influence of Goya, how the light behind the figures in his family group paintings seems to be the subject of the painting, and how there is a "melancholy feeling about that, that the light will actually outlast the figures".</div>
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The language in the book is often sparse, and this minimalism, coupled with clear-eyed honesty, carries an even stronger emotional impact. There is one passage, when describing her mother's childhood, that relates a tragedy her mother was witness to and haunted by, and it is something I haven't been able to get out of my head. </div>
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<a href="https://frieze.com/article/celia-paul-restraint-and-freedom-gwen-johns-self-portrait" target="_blank">Gwen John</a> was another inspiration that is apparent in the two paintings above and below, in the containment and stillness of the self-portraits (John is also another example of a female artist having an all-consuming affair with an older male artist - Auguste Rodin. It appears Freud expected a similar subservience from Paul).</div>
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The book is also a meditation on the intersection between the written word and visual art. Paul says writing the memoir - she had not written much previously, apart from early diary entries and poems, and found 'freedom of speech' in painting instead - has affected her art: "I feel a new assurance in my painting, through a growing confidence about using words again."(p.5)</div>
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* Her husband Steven Kupfer wrote this essay about Celia Paul's art: <a href="https://www.victoria-miro.com/celia-paul-painting-her-life-by-steven-kupfer" target="_blank">"Celia Paul - <i>Painting her Life</i>"</a></div>
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<br />Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-71939136108744731742020-06-17T16:48:00.001+01:002020-06-19T22:43:56.668+01:00On scanxiety<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo taken in Italy last year - my first swim in the sea since my diagnosis</i></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica";"><span style="font-family: inherit;">the marks on my back after a session on my 'bed of nails'</span></span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">"All patients have complicated relationships with their scans [...]. We
first learn we have cancer from scans, then learn from them if that cancer has
shrunk or disappeared, then learn if it has come back. Scans are like revolving
doors, emotional roulette wheels that spin us around for a few days and spit us
out the other side. Land on red, we're in for another trip to Cancerland; land
on black, we have a few more months of freedom." - <a href="http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2075133_2075127_2075107,00.html" target="_blank">Bruce Feiler</a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I am so
relieved that I have 'a few more months of freedom' before my next appointment.<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Cancer -
or rather my own cancer - hadn't been on my mind that much until the scan date approached. Other things, both in the world at large and my personal life, have been taking up a lot of my mental energy, and when I veer towards fear I ground myself in activities I love, such as painting and reading. My cancer-related thoughts are mainly with people I know who are facing tough decisions or are running out of options. Right now I am lucky.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">And yet,
knowing too much about my diagnosis, the awareness of the high risk of a
recurrence is always at the back of my mind. My therapist once said that any
fears we have as humans, when peeled back, ultimately reveal a fear of death.
And scanxiety is pretty close to that original fear.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">While I was calm overall, the week between the scan and getting the results I felt the familiar tension, and since the scan the fatigue has been acting up.</span></span></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span>
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">The scans
that fall into June are also a painful reminder of what could have been, as my
due date was June 30, 2018 - instead, around that time I found
myself at my lowest during chemoradiation for the inoperable lung cancer I had
been diagnosed with as a fit 34-year old non-smoker (I did have surgery as
well, but it is not the standard protocol for the type of stage III the cancer was). I was propped up on our daybed,
unable to move and with excruciating side effects that many people would find
TMI.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> <br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">In
December 2017, after a week of bleeding, I had braced myself for the 12-week scan
at the gynaecologist's, willing the image to show growth. Fast-forward to my regular oncology scans, and it is the opposite - staring at different black-and-white images at appointments during treatment, looking for shrinkage and disintegration; the fear when the lymph nodes didn't respond as hoped; and now,
post-treatment, always wishing for a 'nothing'. And repeatedly having to confirm I am definitely not pregnant each time so I can have the CT scans.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">But all of that is a small price to pay for being able to live a fairly normal life, or a 'new normal' post-cancer life.</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Something that isn't talked about that often is how scanxiety also affects those close to the
patient. In fact, it can be worse for family members or spouses. My deepest
worries are about how my diagnosis affects John and my family, though I try not
to entertain the spiralling thoughts about what might happen. And
I am no stranger to what it is like for close relatives - my dad died of cancer
and my mum was diagnosed after me. The feeling of helplessness and the fear are definitely
worse when it is somebody you love, and I am feeling both right now, as my mum has to have a biopsy because her last
check-up didn't go as we had hoped, so there is more waiting.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">These
days I am frequently reminded of '<a href="https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/what-are-lifeshocks-and-what-can-we-do-with-them-1.3545670" target="_blank">lifeshocks</a><span style="color: blue;">'</span>
- they keep coming. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">My coping mechanisms include my usual rituals and this time especially the return to
sea-swimming and my new 'bed of nails', aka an <a href="https://shaktimat.eu/" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">acupressure mat</span></a>,
a birthday present from John, who knew I wanted one. I sometimes do yoga nidra while on
the mat and often fall
asleep on it.</span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Creativity
is another tool, and Julia Barnickle's wise words soothed me when I felt overwhelmed. <a href="http://juliabarnickle.com/11613/how-do-you-handle-anxiety-about-health/" target="_blank">This </a>is what she has to say about scanxiety and anxiety in general - I aspire to her serenity. She also uses the exercises from The
Artist's Way and believes creativity to be an important part of her healing.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">I read an
interview with an actress whose brother had died, and she talked about how
around the same time work got very busy for her and the shock gave her a surge
in energy. Looking back over shocks big and small I find that to have been true for me at certain points - trauma often paralyses you,
but sometimes it can fuel your creativity and productivity.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Speaking of creativity, I am
grateful for all the commissions coming my way and am donating half of the
money from art sales since my return to work to charities and to our local
cancer centre, which has been a great support for the last two years. </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">-------------</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;"><a href="https://medivizor.com/blog/2014/06/03/15-tips-cope-scanxiety/" target="_blank">Here </a>is another article on scanxiety, including tips on how to cope with it.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 12pt;">Also, it would be lying by omission if I didn't admit that sometimes the only thing that
works to pause the thoughts is binge-watching
a series (most recently <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2020/apr/01/self-made-the-banker-netflix-apple-tv" target="_blank">Self-Made</a>). </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNoSpacing">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></div>
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table.MsoNormalTable
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mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri;
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<![endif]-->Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-13510706023558487762020-05-26T23:36:00.000+01:002020-05-27T08:15:22.619+01:00Natural beauty: skincare and dental<br />
<br />
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The contents of our bathroom cabinet are not all 100% plastic-free, but where possible we buy and use natural products in sustainable packaging or homemade versions. <br />
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I have been using a menstrual cup for around 15 years, since my early twenties, and more recently got some period underwear as well - and a portable bidet as a gift from my mum after my sister recommended it (that's all for another post - no taboos here!).<br />
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I don't buy cotton wool or similar. For taking off make-up I use muslin cloths that I store in a glass jar beside the basin. They also work well as a hot cloth for cleansing (I love <a href="https://www.drh.ie/" target="_blank">Dr Hauschka</a>'s cleansing milk. The smell reminds me of my mum - it is the only product I currently have that has that white creamy scent idiomatic of so many lotions - something redolent of baby care and sunscreen and very comforting).<br />
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Another cleanser I bought a good while ago (a little goes a long way) and use as my main face wash is a <a href="https://dublinherbalists.ie/" target="_blank">Dublin Herbalists</a> one that comes in a 'jam' jar. The consistency is like something between honey and liquid wax, so when you massage it into your skin you can almost feel it drawing out dirt and impurities. Adding water then turns it milky, and I take it off with a muslin cloth and warm water. As the brand name suggests, this is an Irish product.</div>
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I still use the frankincense and geranium moisturiser my sister made for me, and for sun protection I either use <a href="https://www.renskincare.com/" target="_blank">REN</a>'s SPF 30 or, when I want something akin to foundation (I rarely use foundation; I prefer a bare face), Ginzing SPF35 Hydrating Prettifying Finisher by <a href="https://www.origins.com/" target="_blank">Origins</a>. It has a subtle glow and shimmer. I used to have Dr Hauschka's bronzer, which was nice and light. </div>
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I tend to sleep with nothing on my face, but I do love Dr Hauschka's Night Serum, which goes on as an imperceptible layer. My skin feels softer and plumper and overall healthier the following morning. </div>
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The <a href="https://www.ben-anna.com/?v=3a52f3c22ed6#2" target="_blank">Ben & Anna</a> toothpaste comes in a jar with a wooden spatula. The charcoal <a href="https://georganics.com/" target="_blank">dental floss</a> feels tougher than conventional floss, but you get used to it. I never bought the dispenser; I just get the refills - we simply use scissors to cut off the length we need (it's crazy that the floss by the main dental care brands is mostly sold in plastic dispensers). We have <a href="https://www.brushmable.com/" target="_blank">Mable </a>bamboo toothbrushes, and I like that they have a 'heavy bottom' and thus stand on their own, which means they don't get gunky sitting in a glass.</div>
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My sister also made me a jar of deodorant over a year ago that is still half full (at the moment I use it every day, but for a while I alternated with a geranium one I still had - also natural - which I used for exercise and when I expected fear sweat, as the jasmine one is not heavy-duty - but it still works well. I must ask her for the recipe).</div>
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Finally, <a href="https://www.atlanticaromatics.com/" target="_blank">rosewater </a>is lovely as a toner or a hydrating mist and, of course, being rose, it is linked to the heart chakra. After everything that lung cancer and treatment did to that area of my body, I take extra good care of it, so one of my rituals is to spray rosewater on my chest. I used to buy this for other people and hadn't bought a bottle for myself in a while, and then, last year, in one of those examples of synchronicity, Angela in our local healthfood shop put one into my bag as a present, and now it is part of my routine again. And it is an Irish product.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">As always, none of the above are affiliate links and I do not get paid for endorsing products here; I just post things I like!</span></div>
<br />Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-78244479561603066182020-05-21T17:45:00.001+01:002020-05-21T17:45:23.095+01:00Flowers<br />
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<font size="1">From Lindgren, Astrid & Hartung, Louise: <i>Ich habe auch gelebt. Briefe einer Freundschaft</i>, Ullstein Verlag, Berlin 2016</font><br /></div>
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">I have been filling a sketchbook with botanical illustrations, experimenting with different styles, though most of them are quite realistic. I adore both the highly detailed botanical drawings of the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries and more stylised modern interpretations and am not sure where to go with mine, but enjoying the ride. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The ones in my sketchbook are all done with watersoluble coloured pencils. I only started rendering flowers in oils and acrylics as the main subject of a painting in recent years. Art history is filled with stunning examples of floral art, and they are hugely popular as a theme, yet for some reason I had only ever used them as part of a composition and rarely let them take centre stage. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I love Georgia O'Keeffe's big and bold sculptural <a href="http://www.georgiaokeeffe.org/flowers/" target="_blank"><b>paintings of flowers</b></a> opening and blossoming. And cut-paper flowers and of course the real thing, fresh and ephemeral or preserved: For my birthday my nephew gave me a card with pressed flowers (which I will frame) and a beautiful necklace containing a daisy (and my sister's card was her own gorgeous botanical drawing). I've been revisiting <a href="https://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2011/06/paper-flowers.html" target="_blank"><b><i>The Paper Garden</i></b></a> with Mary Delany's intricate botanical collages created with scissors and coloured paper and thinking about the lovely gesture of adding flowers to diaries and letters. Throughout <a href="https://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2017/01/books-letters-between-astrid-lindgren.html" target="_blank"><b>their correspondence</b></a> Louise Hartung would send Astrid Lindgren flowers in the form of bouquets and bulbs or pressed and attached to paper. <br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Since Christmas we've had two different amaryllises indoors, red and pink. Ever since my older sister pointed it out, I like to think of it as the plant of the three Wild sisters - my sisters' names are Anke and Sibylle, so bits of our three names are included in Amaryllis, in chronological order (I'm the middle child...).</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">The red variety, as so many red flowers, is a symbol of love, but in Victorian times, the amaryllis was associated with pride (which was seen as a good attribute, denoting beauty and strength) and in China the red amaryllis signifies luck. A pink amaryllis is a friendship symbol and I have been drawing it on cards. All varieties represent hope as well. Our two specimens brightened up our rooms in the darker months before the garden came into its own.<br /></div>
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Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-32729998318271663092020-05-12T21:39:00.001+01:002020-05-12T21:39:35.029+01:00Birthday, houses and home<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>From </i>Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold<i> (we sometimes put on subtitles in German if available, as John is learning it, or French or Spanish, as a brush-up exercise, but I put on English subtitles when I rewatched some of this, as there were so many quotes that I wanted to see in writing in addition to hearing the voice; it can add a layer of something I can't quite put my finger on)</i></span></div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47;">‘I realised [the novel <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Play It as It Lays</i>] was about anticipating Quintana was growing up.
I was anticipating separation. […] I was actually working through that
separation ahead of time. So novels are also about things you’re afraid you can’t
deal with. In that sense that a novel is a cautionary tale, if you tell the
story and work it out all right, then it won’t happen to you.’</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #741b47;">Joan Didion, in <i>Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold </i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
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</xml><![endif]-->What I paint and what I read and think
about and feel, and things that come into my life without my prompting them, seem to constantly interweave in astonishing - or perhaps expected - synchronicity.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was my birthday yesterday, and talking to my mentor and
friend <a href="http://www.margieconnolly.ie/" target="_blank">Margie</a>, the themes of home and rebirth and becoming through coming home to ourselves came up. I am working on the painting above, which was also born (excuse the pun) out of conversations
with Margie and inner child work (my younger sister
had recommended the book by Stefanie Stahl, which is about accepting our ‘shadow
child’ and thus freeing our ‘sunshine child’) and may call it 'Birthday' (also as a nod to <b><a href="https://abeautifulhue.blogspot.com/2018/11/favourite-paintings.html" target="_blank">one of my favourite paintings</a></b>). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Margie had asked me a while ago whether I had something symbolic that could represent the child in me, and while I searched I kept thinking of a blurry
sepia photo of me on a beach that I had saved when my sister sent me a digital copy of it
and that I had been meaning to use as the starting point for a painting. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The book I mentioned in my last post, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">On Chapel Sands</i>, starts with a girl – the author’s mother - disappearing from
a beach, and the memoir is about where we come from,
among other things. And incidentally, I just started swimming in the sea again
last week.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The house my sisters and I spent the best part of our childhood in is being
transformed into a home for my younger sister and her family, with an integrated apartment
for our mum. I am so glad they will be under the same roof (the guilt of having
left my tribe and moved to another country remains), but there must be something potent in the
symbolism of the dismantling and rebuilding, as a lot of my dreams these last few weeks have been about home and a
nostalgia for my childhood. Not being able to go to Germany at the
moment comes into it as well, no doubt. There is a walk John and I like to go on here that, even though it is at the edge of wild dramatic windswept Connemara, has a softness that reminds me of the fields and ditches surrounding our village at home.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a sense a lot of art is ultimately about the journey
home; it is one of those archetypal themes that underpin pretty much everything. Yet I am still struck by how it is such a dominant thread in my reading and painting at
the moment. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
John gave me the recently published <i>Lives of Houses</i>, a
collection of essays about the physical homes of various artists,
literary figures, composers, politicians, etc. and how they shaped their lives
and work. And I bought (and have read the first few pages - then I put it away, as my currently-reading pile is about to topple) Elizabeth-Jane Burnett's <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/mar/21/the-grassling-by-elizabeth-jane-burnett-review" target="_blank"><b><i>The Grassling</i></b></a>, about place and landscape, memory and grief. It also includes wild swimming.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
---</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We watched two excellent documentaries that are available on Netflix at the
moment. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Becoming</i>, about Michelle
Obama’s memoir of the same title, which also has some moving scenes of her
revisiting her childhood home and reminiscing about her late father, and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold</i>, a portrait of the iconic writer, created by her nephew. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realised recently that I had quite the collection
of
literary works dealing with grief and packed away some of them to
donate, but I
still have Didion’s exceptional memoirs about the deaths of her husband
and daughter, <i>The Year of Magical Thinking</i> and <i>Blue Nights</i>, and I want to reread them after watching the
documentary. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A lot of my recommendations these days are the opposite of feel-good escapism*; between my choice of books and TV and the themes of my paintings (and the sea-swimming!), salt water is featuring heavily at the moment! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
---</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">* We are also watching<i> <b><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2019/mar/11/ricky-gervais-calls-after-life-the-best-thing-hes-done-this-is-patently-false" target="_blank">After Life</a></b></i>.</span></div>
Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-87999992190723297982020-05-01T17:04:00.002+01:002020-05-02T10:02:00.443+01:00Routines for staying grounded<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJcQwNWuS7yM7m_LBK3uZOzp3T0Jp0hMFG2vDEUPw6YuSyA_ZwBipfvUyAJs2Aj8KWJeI7CNfxiixtyfskvesaakpKLSLYolO6_gj2JfbYh8lZhoGiODWci-Y7qQYJFnTguDBLyEmSHL4/s1600/April+ABH+4.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJcQwNWuS7yM7m_LBK3uZOzp3T0Jp0hMFG2vDEUPw6YuSyA_ZwBipfvUyAJs2Aj8KWJeI7CNfxiixtyfskvesaakpKLSLYolO6_gj2JfbYh8lZhoGiODWci-Y7qQYJFnTguDBLyEmSHL4/s640/April+ABH+4.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> In the studio</i><br />
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0AOHiIDJLlGBQ6gIN6fXXF7Q1bAv6v9PUyEFzifaaMKNeL_VklW8glnrick3wGYg0phEz1cEo7fy_I_5zkpPkPt1z02d1B4N0sYYWojWJ-V7NemU2oc5qPJJtqxBRdUT477Gy50GPPAA/s1600/April+ABH.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0AOHiIDJLlGBQ6gIN6fXXF7Q1bAv6v9PUyEFzifaaMKNeL_VklW8glnrick3wGYg0phEz1cEo7fy_I_5zkpPkPt1z02d1B4N0sYYWojWJ-V7NemU2oc5qPJJtqxBRdUT477Gy50GPPAA/s640/April+ABH.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Some recent and current reading</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhU61N6DtMv6XXQBT4UU_vS4AAwQSvLaSldbTmU6jse6YGFRNfH0F3wFqFMA2cnzPLZKmetcOnVs7jhfaEWyysfzayDOUvY4oBRQ0nWyuC62x9SmNrrrjp015H5gzzjl9njca6kxHRDSc/s1600/April+ABH+3.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhU61N6DtMv6XXQBT4UU_vS4AAwQSvLaSldbTmU6jse6YGFRNfH0F3wFqFMA2cnzPLZKmetcOnVs7jhfaEWyysfzayDOUvY4oBRQ0nWyuC62x9SmNrrrjp015H5gzzjl9njca6kxHRDSc/s640/April+ABH+3.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> Spinach </i><br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhny7S7uXhj0RuU6OuZKVDgH-oEYy1ngp0Swh4KPXmMp6h-hG8If_-x2D4hiUIx3j6yPloYG948B3OfC9Ux4k3WF30EewJPG8XNP2y8g6hhdBIp_1SMtrnK-9lkVgkMGJHHvHp_NEnUM/s1600/April+ABH+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnhny7S7uXhj0RuU6OuZKVDgH-oEYy1ngp0Swh4KPXmMp6h-hG8If_-x2D4hiUIx3j6yPloYG948B3OfC9Ux4k3WF30EewJPG8XNP2y8g6hhdBIp_1SMtrnK-9lkVgkMGJHHvHp_NEnUM/s640/April+ABH+2.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>There are no weeds</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 107%;">Routines,
be they daily, weekly or monthly, are an anchor in life, especially in these extraordinary times. We
need structure.</span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"> As a natural introvert I haven’t had trouble adapting to the lockdown, and while I share the global
anxiety and heartbreak, just as I feel it about global warming, wars, human rights issues, poverty and other crises, and am worried about other people (and in awe of the frontline workers), I am used to dealing with massive uncertainty and am embracing the gifts and lessons in this
situation, something I have had plenty of practice in since being diagnosed with cancer. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am using this period as a retreat of sorts. Luckily I am still working part-time and only losing out on some of my income, and we are financially secure. Being at home has given me the space
to expand the routines that have become such vital tools in my healing. It has been an emotional few weeks for various reasons, and some days I could barely do one or two of the things on this list, but I can feel the cumulative benefits from incorporating the below into my days and weeks as much as possible:<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Exercise / gardening: </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two activities not everyone is able to do, and I never take them for granted. I dusted off the dumbbells I had bought in preparation for
surgery and now rotate <a href="https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVdvJ_hPKyRbTqj19PG9V6w/videos?view=0&sort=dd&shelf_id=1" target="_blank"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Christine Coen</b></a>’s
22-minute workouts. She focuses on the mental health aspect
of weight training and the workouts are varied enough to not feel overwhelming, though I still have to pause at times. I am also running more than ever, but I try not to be too rigid about it. One
of my rounds involves stopping at the beach on the way home and wading through the water - we are very lucky to have so much space around us with access to beaches within the 2km radius our movements are currently restricted to. When I don’t feel
like a run, I walk instead or spend an hour gardening. It has been sunny and dry lately and I am getting a lot of fresh air into my lungs and appreciating this heightened connection to nature.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Creativity:</b> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thanks in no small part to <b><a href="http://www.margieconnolly.ie/project/833" target="_blank">this wonderful course</a></b>, I am in a state of Flow when it comes to painting and drawing. At the moment I am drawing and
painting children a lot and working on my botanical illustrations and some
personal projects. Last night John and I got our hands into clay, inspired by the Great British Pottery Throw Down (Keith Brymer Jones must be one of the most
soulful people on the planet; he is regularly moved to tears by a piece, and those are moments of humanity that are a balm for the spirit!). Food preparation is a creative pursuit in itself and an exercise in mindfulness, and I am trying out recipes I had saved and making large bowls of rainbow salads, healthy desserts and cakes. <br />
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Meditation / visualisation / spiritual practice:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These days my practice usually involves one long Joe Dispenza meditation and/or
two shorter ones each day. I also still listen to my custom hypnotherapy audio recordings a few times a week. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/MarisaPeer1/videos?view=0&sort=dd&shelf_id=4" target="_blank"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Marisa Peer</b></a> has been uploading a lot of free resources, including hypnotherapy sessions and
visualisations. I read spiritual texts every day and listen to podcasts or Youtube videos, for example talks by Michael A. Singer (I bookmarked <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_6ad9URawc" target="_blank"><b>this one</b></a> as I want to listen to it again).<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Yoga / breathwork:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are essentials for getting back into my body. Yoga with Kassandra has created a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrlLpvX-rz-mrGCoElFpj44D" target="_blank"><b>30-day morning yoga challenge</b></a>, so before I sit down to work I do one of those ten-minute sessions and
later in the day one of her longer Yin Yoga classes. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gOnXwp41NA" target="_blank"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">This</b> </a>one focuses specifically on the immune system. <br />
Wim Hof (aka the Iceman) regularly shares free content, and I have been doing <b><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/B-H61JAn3xv/" target="_blank">this </a></b>short sequence of Wim Hof breathing. <br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Reading:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reading is probably my number one activity right now; I have
been reading so much, across different genres. A couple of standouts: Before
lockdown I got Laura Cumming’s new book <i><b><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/jun/26/on-chapel-sands-laura-cumming-review" target="_blank">On Chapel Sands </a></b></i>from the library and started reading it last week (as usual, I have several books on the go); I
am savouring it at intervals, chapter by chapter, out in the garden. I finally bought Anne Lamott’s <b><a href="https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/11/22/bird-by-bird-anne-lamott/" target="_blank"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Bird by Bird. Instructions on Writing and Life</i></a></b>, which I had been wanting to read for years, and, as expected, it is excellent, a book to visit again and again. Elizabeth Hardwick's semi-autobiographical novel-letter <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/jun/29/eimear-mcbride-elizabeth-hardwick-novel-sleepless-nights" target="_blank"><b><i>Sleepless Nights</i></b></a> is also remarkable and certainly in a category of its own.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Writing / correspondence / connection:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I still write my <b><a href="https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/" target="_blank">Morning Pages</a></b> every day and am also working on a journal/memoir (that I might never share publicly either) about the last two years, something I have been
doing on and off.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Correspondence is important, too, and I have been making and sending cards, writing letters and putting
together parcels, and reaching out to people I had been meaning to contact for a while. Snail mail also offers a balance to all the additional screen time now that so many meetings and appointments have
moved online. In a lot of ways this pandemic has brought people closer together. I
now talk to my 86-year old friend almost every second day (she lives alone and is cocooning); there are more video
calls with family and friends; my ‘Irish’ nephew has playdates with his cousin in Germany via Whatsapp; people are reviving old friendships and forging new ones.<br />
<br />
<b>Therapy: </b><br />
I have regular appointments with my therapists, counsellor, healers and mentors, and these are very much part of my routine. They are expensive (with the exception of the Cancer Care West counselling service; everything they do is free - we are very lucky to have them), but so worth it, and I am thankful that I am in a position to afford them.<br />
<br />
<b>Rest: </b><br />
When I am feeling well, I want to make up for all the
time I lost or wasted and go all in. Thanks to energy healing from <b><a href="https://jeff.ie/" target="_blank">this man</a></b> the previously continuous
fatigue lifted not soon after my treatment, but in my
excitement over that I tend to forget that my body still lets me know very clearly when I
have overdone it - which is of course true in general, but now comes with the added sensations of cancer-related fatigue. So while it is tempting to do all the things I've been meaning to do, I remind myself to slow down and take rest days as needed, with no pressure to be productive.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
---<br />
On the note of productivity, I hope to be back here with possibly shorter but more regular posts - I have a lot of drafts, but haven't had the mental space to edit and post lately. </div>
<br />
Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-5169055615249561222020-03-13T16:50:00.000+00:002020-04-25T12:03:33.180+01:00Biophilia<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkPtio4Lgs2wzk64fykL5Q81wDLybKQt_4HN8w2yO1XJJdPZgzkXvoRQCrmECN47U2nmYRCZfrDayxqjhkvGZ_UqWqdntJuxihI7jdxq2uo_FBAlo7RlC5chhguKFjLgodu7lzJEmz4s8/s1600/IMG_4236+%2528Large%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkPtio4Lgs2wzk64fykL5Q81wDLybKQt_4HN8w2yO1XJJdPZgzkXvoRQCrmECN47U2nmYRCZfrDayxqjhkvGZ_UqWqdntJuxihI7jdxq2uo_FBAlo7RlC5chhguKFjLgodu7lzJEmz4s8/s640/IMG_4236+%2528Large%2529.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlU1L4m2Th9-OtEEuU9_j6L0ZTGqXTc1DLsQ35FlttPu_cbmvRN3ASNoFTsSLhsAy-lguSp1Sn82lRDR75tUreFMsUU2bo1ohTOyF7gfWRiAFF2aZ1JWyv9iZysPGsSOBwfPZAklhZikQ/s1600/IMG_4257+%2528Large%2529.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1440" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlU1L4m2Th9-OtEEuU9_j6L0ZTGqXTc1DLsQ35FlttPu_cbmvRN3ASNoFTsSLhsAy-lguSp1Sn82lRDR75tUreFMsUU2bo1ohTOyF7gfWRiAFF2aZ1JWyv9iZysPGsSOBwfPZAklhZikQ/s640/IMG_4257+%2528Large%2529.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Homemade bird food - attempt #1, and a book on bees</i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAUzSfEN_XPt-caKNK8nv1yxlz7tRvjBgbBGOpSPEdEmwYsbMgQ8ac4ztUN0DZJx8Sp6F3Fvc0_k1uIpQaQ15uZ2MK2iufOSAMOeTs76KkclLVY0-vncrgQE_guXgW1aXAT1IQ58CQhP4/s1600/Barnabee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1140" data-original-width="1600" height="456" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAUzSfEN_XPt-caKNK8nv1yxlz7tRvjBgbBGOpSPEdEmwYsbMgQ8ac4ztUN0DZJx8Sp6F3Fvc0_k1uIpQaQ15uZ2MK2iufOSAMOeTs76KkclLVY0-vncrgQE_guXgW1aXAT1IQ58CQhP4/s640/Barnabee.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>'Barnabee', oil on canvas board (the model was already dead!)</i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #073763;">"The effects of nature’s qualities on health are not only spiritual and
emotional but physical and neurological. I have no doubt that they
reflect deep changes in the brain’s physiology, and perhaps even its
structure."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #073763;"> Oliver Sacks, quoted in <b><a href="https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/05/27/oliver-sacks-gardens/?fbclid=IwAR0eucV-bu9WGXNDBonox5_IF2Hn_1t8MQHR9lpL2ZkQGcF4vuUVF9weuO8" target="_blank">this </a></b>Brain Pickings post</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="color: #7f6000;">"When humans come into contact with benign soil bacteria such as <i>Mycobacterium vaccae</i>, proteins from its cell wall trigger a further release of serotonin from a specific group of nerve cells in our brains. So it seems that a bit of weeding can be good for more than just your herbaceous borders."</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #7f6000;">Mitchell, Emma: <i>The Wild Remedy. How Nature Mends Us</i>, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #7f6000;">Michael O'Mara Books Limited, London 2019, pp.9f.</span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I have always found weeding therapeutic (although sometimes it can lead to ruminating), but it was interesting to read the scientific explanation in <b><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41443274-the-wild-remedy" target="_blank">Emma Mitchell's wonderful book</a></b> about the medicinal effect of nature on her depression. Through that contact with soil, together with inhalation of the volatile compounds and oils of plants (which produce some of the same effects on the systems of the human body as on plants - protection from viruses and bacteria), the endorphins from exercise, and the release of serotonin via sunlight on our skin and the eye's retina, a simple walk in a green space yields numerous benefits from nature's pharmacy.<br />
<br />
There was an interesting article in <i>The Irish Times</i> recently
about reconnecting with nature that specifically mentioned fractals, the
visually complex patterns found in nature. I cannot find it online, but
it quoted physicist Richard Taylor, who explained that "Your visual
system is in some way hardwired to understand fractals, and the stress
reduction [of being in nature] is triggered by a physiological resonance
when the fractal structure of the eye matches that of the fractal image
being viewed." In some of <b><a href="https://drjoedispenza.net/blog/" target="_blank">Joe Dispenza</a></b>'s newer guided meditations, he uses
fractals for tuning into the energy centres of the body, and I am keen
to get back into those, though they seem too advanced for
this lapsed meditator (I have only been doing very short meditations in the last few weeks). <br />
<br />
I know I will always feel better after spending some time outside, but some days I don't heed that call and self-sabotage instead. So I am grateful for friends who get me out even on my worst fatigue days. This morning I was on the couch as my body was aching all over (the now familiar aftermath of going to see my oncologist for results - thankfully they were good! And yet, for the first few days the relief and gratitude are mixed with utter exhaustion), and just as I was tempted to binge-watch <i>Grace and Frankie</i> at 9:30 in the morning my neighbour asked me whether I wanted to join her for a walk. And of course it helped.<br />
<br />
A few weeks ago we were dog-sitting, and even though I had a flu-like cold and there were almost continuous storms, I managed to take the dog for walks. They were exhilarating. I would slowly crawl up the hill to the bog road at the end of our cul-de-sac while the dog kept running ahead and looping back. There was a puddle that had turned into a pond and was effectively blocking access to the grassy bog road. But I was wearing wellies and waded through it, and each time I would stop in the middle, feeling the cold of the water around my feet and legs and looking at the abundance of lichen on a tree which seemed to glow in the dim grey daylight, and I would temporarily be lifted out of whatever thoughts were going around in my head and feel immensely grateful for another day.<br />
<br />
-----<br />
<br />
My nephew and I made posh bird food recently - it involved coconut oil and organic pumpkin seeds. I won't link to the recipe, as it wasn't really a success (it didn't hold together when I cut it). We might try the recipe from Emma Mitchell's book <b><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35818495-making-winter" target="_blank">Making Winter</a></b> next. The bird balls we usually put in the feeders all come in plastic packaging (though admittedly I haven't done much research around it. There must be other options - we did spot fancy ones sold individually in a shop in Oughterard, but they wouldn't be feasible for the amount the birds in our garden get through in a week!), so I figured making our own would be a good idea.<br />
<br />
We had looked into getting bees, but right now it feels like a lot to take on, so for now we are focusing on making our garden as bee-friendly as possible. My sister gave John <b><a href="https://guardianbookshop.com/the-good-bee-9781789290837.html" target="_blank">this </a></b>beautiful illustrated book on bees. A while ago I brought a dead bumblebee back to life on canvas and we hung the painting at a child-friendly height in our sitting room.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-80075655995098650212020-02-09T14:17:00.000+00:002020-04-25T12:08:09.347+01:00Retreat<br />
<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #134f5c;">"Time is a box formed by thoughts of the past and the
future. When there is only the immediate now - when you’re not dwelling in the
past or anticipating the future, but you are just right here, right now – you are
outside of time."</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #134f5c;">Ram Dass</span></div>
<br />
<br />
The first photo above is from October when we were dogsitting Georgie and my nephew stayed with us, but it is a good reminder to be in the moment, and it captures multiple sources I draw strength from: the unconditional love from my family; the pure affection and trust from animals; books; plants and sunlight; and lying down on the ground, connecting to the Earth. I was happy in that shot, even though I look - and probably was - exhausted. <br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the good scan results in December I thought that I
would be able to relax a bit until the next scan (which is now only a month away), but so far the beginning of
the year has been tough. As much as I like to focus on oneness with all beings, there are times when this is a very lonely road. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The unanimous advice from healthcare professionals was to prioritise self-care and to make
the return to work as gentle as possible and keep stress at bay. Instead I have reverted to people-pleasing and spread myself too thin and put the (perceived) needs and expectations of others first, running
around and becoming breathless and frazzled.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have come to realise that I have been trying so
hard to function at a time when I need to mind myself and
process everything. Then there have been pains and other symptoms, lingering chemo brain and the
fatigue hitting me after a long day, and I neglected my
routines, so it is no wonder that I haven’t been coping well.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In the past, this time of the year involved working crazy hours preparing for a festival. This
year I am overwhelmed by my inbox alone. A lot of tasks feel like wading
through treacle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the most enjoyable mornings recently was during
a storm, when the electricity went and I sat at the table reading and writing by candlelight and
attempted to heat water on the stove. It seemed like a clear sign to slow down.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So it is back to basics again. I have been talking to people who have been through similar and to therapists and mentors, and what emerged was the need to retreat and to come back into
my body and give myself a break. One exercise that is often suggested for
grief and trauma is to gently hit or tap your body with your palms or fingertips, and you can do it throughout the day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For a more passive practice, I often just lie on the floor, either on my front, propping up my hips on toilet
rolls in the absence of chiropractic wedges (homework given to me by one of my healers), or in a legs-up-the-wall pose.
Both are very soothing for the nervous system. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Going to work is easier on several levels when I wear thermals and have a flask with ginger in hot water, two simple grounding things my healer also recommended. She also advised me to use oil all over my body. I like to add in warming essential oils such as chamomile.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The books I am reading at the moment are a good mix, though mainly non-fiction, apart from William Trevor's short stories (usually I always have a novel on the go as well). I keep getting the right recommendations at the right time. <b><a href="https://joelgoldsmith.com/" target="_blank">Joel Goldsmith</a></b> is a revelation. <b><a href="https://www.taraswart.com/the-source/" target="_blank"><i>The Source</i></a></b> is further evidence that neuroscience is finally catching up with what Eastern wisdom has known for a long time (though I feel conflicted about some aspects of the Law of Attraction, as they seem to ignore the large proportion of people who are not cushioned in privilege).<br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am doing Oprah and Deepak’s current 21-day meditation course
‘Perfect Health' and started writing Morning Pages again (I bought Julia
Cameron’s book years ago and did some of the exercises in <i>The Artist’s Way</i> for a while, but
never kept them up. I am about to join a local course on it). After several nudges towards A Course in Miracles, I am now doing the workbook via Paul Babin's Youtube channel <b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/whoknoze" target="_blank">The Abundance</a></b>, at my own pace. His deep, calming voice has accompanied me on and off over the last two years. He also has new meditations specifically for women with major health challenges. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
John gave me a sustainable yoga mat from <a href="https://www.ecoyoga.co.uk/" target="_blank"><b>Eco Yoga</b></a> as a present, and it is so much nicer to use than the PVC ones. I had a standard mat for nearly 15 years that my sister's cat once used as a scratching tree and am keeping it for when somebody joins me (my nephews!), and I was shocked to read that some studios dispose of mats after three months. This Jute one also has much better grip, and when you are face down on the mat you don't get that plastic smell that never seems to disappear from PVC.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-17194098498822016732020-01-18T10:09:00.000+00:002020-01-18T10:11:13.992+00:00Books for wholeness | Author Sophie Sabbage<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>from </i>The Cancer Whisperer<i> by Sophie Sabbage</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #134f5c;">"The sorrow which has no vent in tears may make other organs weep." </span><br />
<span style="color: #134f5c;">Henry Maudsley</span></div>
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Back in November I posted a shorter version of the below on my social media accounts for Lung Cancer Awareness Month and have been meaning to include it here as well.<br />
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I want to start sharing some of the books I have found helpful in my recovery, a steady stream of books that seem to keep coming into my life each at the exact right time. I was going to put 'Books for healing' in the title, but these days I prefer the term 'wholeness' and putting the focus on (already) being whole and healed. <span class=""> </span><br />
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<span class="">Among these books are a couple that upon finishing leave you feeling almost complete and as though they had unlocked the secret to life, the universe, everything - years ago I felt that way when reading Eckhart Tolle's <i>The Power of Now</i>, a book that seemed to make all other self-help books redundant</span><span class="">. More recently books such as Michael A. Singer's <i>The Untethered Soul</i> and <i>A Return to Love</i> by </span><span class=""><span class="">Marianne Williamson </span>have had this effect. And it has become clear that I need to read those kinds of spiritual texts on a daily basis, in order to fully absorb and consolidate the teachings, and that I enjoy reading 'variations on the same theme' by different writers and masters. </span><br />
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<span class="">There is a sub-section in this category: books that are specifically about cancer, though obviously go beyond that, and while I am a bit unsure as to how much I want to read about cancer - inevitably you come across statistics or other details pertaining to your own situation that you then try to erase from your mind - I still have a few of them.</span><br />
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<span class="">One of those 'cancer' books is <b><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/26873225-the-cancer-whisperer" target="_blank"><i>The Cancer Whisperer</i></a></b> by <b><a href="https://sophiesabbage.com/" target="_blank">Sophie Sabbage</a></b>. She has stage IV of the same type of lung cancer that I was diagnosed with, but with a different
mutation, and has miraculously overcome several rounds of brain metastases. Her book is part memoir, part self-help, part spiritual guide.
She writes eloquently and beautifully, with wisdom and authenticity and
a rawness that will resonate with anyone on a similar path. I can open it on any page and find something that will connect me to that inner source of strength we all have.</span><br />
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<span class="">The book
also acknowledges the role grief may play in lung disease. I was
familiar with Traditional Chinese Medicine, and while it was a huge
shock when I found out I had lung cancer, a part of me felt it made
sense, as the lungs are the seat of grief in TCM and I had never worked
through my grief following my dad's death from cancer when I was a
teenager (he died within weeks of being diagnosed) and other trauma.
Sophie has a lot to say about this topic. She gave a <b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=253&v=ZDuZXSL-0zg&feature=emb_logo" target="_blank">TedX talk about grief and loss</a></b> in her exquisitely poetic style that implores us to express sorrow.</span><br />
<span class=""><br />Hers is a book for anybody dealing with cancer (not just lung cancer) and their
family and friends, and it would also be of value to people who are not affected by the disease. She wrote it not long after her 'terminal'
diagnosis - an incredibly generous thing to do. </span><span class=""><span class="text_exposed_show">I first got it from the library, but
then bought my own copy, as I knew I would want to return to it again
and again. Her other book, <b><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/36690482-lifeshocks" target="_blank"><i>Lifeshocks</i></a></b>, is also worth rereading</span>. She continues to inspire me, and it is wonderful to see her thriving. </span><br />
<br />Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-70579093009542809872019-12-28T20:19:00.002+00:002019-12-28T20:25:58.375+00:00All calm<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>My current moisturiser, made by my sister</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>A present for a friend</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Milk and mask</i></span></div>
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December can be stressful at the best of times, but we have a choice in how we deal with it, and while I never really got that worked up about the season and am striving to eliminate the word 'stress' from my vocabulary (I am a big believer in the power of words and <b><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCv-ZBy6_yU" target="_blank">Marisa Peer</a></b>'s approach), this year we simplified it even more by agreeing to no longer give presents to every family member and generally opting for low-key in all areas. I kept up the tradition of baking different varieties of German Christmas biscuits, with my nephews helping me. The highlight of the pre-Christmas period was hearing John sing with the
ConTempo Quartet again, in three different venues. The last gig had me in tears throughout.<br />
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It is an emotional time of the year for me. Christmas heightens the absence of those we have lost - the other day it struck me that I am the age (36) that marks the point where I have had half my life with my dad and half of it without him. Two years ago I miscarried a week before Christmas on the day of our 12-week scan and then was diagnosed with stage III lung cancer out of the blue a few months later. Both last year and this year I had CT scans of the brain, thorax and pelvis in mid-December with all the scanxiety surrounding them, and last year around this time my mum had tests that would lead to her being diagnosed with breast cancer. My feelings are swinging wildly on the pendulum between exhaustion and fear on one end and immense gratitude (my new mantra, given to me by my <b><a href="https://rachelgotto.com/" target="_blank">amazing hypnotherapist</a></b>, is "Thank you Life") and joy on the other: right now, my mum and I are doing well; we have food and shelter and peace in our countries and loving humans and animals around us. I spend my days with fulfilling and rewarding pursuits, and in a lot of ways life is good.<br />
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Self-care is high up on the list of priorities this month and always. Two calming and grounding elements I find easy to incorporate into every day are aromatherapy and nature. I painted the forest scene above as a present for a friend, and it was quite meditative and therapeutic. Forest bathing has become a vital part of my healing, and in a way it has returned me to my roots (excuse the pun): we grew up in a village close to a forest, and my friend still lives there (as do my mum and younger sister). It brought back memories of foraging for wild mushrooms and hiking with my dad and all the exploring and playing we did in and around the forests of our childhood. I loved using so many different greens in this painting. Patients looking out at green from their sickbeds tend to recover faster, and luckily the views from our house offer an abundance of green.<br />
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My <b><a href="http://stitchingthemoon.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">sister</a></b> made me a lotion containing frankincense essential oil - I have been using this oil in various ways since I found out about its anticancer properties (I put it in a diffuser during my daily yoga practice, for example) - and geranium oil, one of my all-time favourites. I haven't asked her for the recipe yet, but a quick Ecosia search (I still use 'google' as a verb, even though I switched to Ecosia) yields a lot of great homemade beauty products including frankincense oil. It works well for all skin types, and the scent is heady and musky.<br />
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My friend Vu gave me the <b><a href="https://www.weleda.co.uk/lavender-relaxing-bath-milk-200ml-104007" target="_blank">Weleda lavender bath milk</a></b> when I was going through treatment. The combination of lavender and a milky consistency makes for one of the most soothing baths. It comes in glass, as does the seaweed <b><a href="https://www.whitewitch.ie/organic-vegan-skincare/0yxdpe4xrf22ouf5idx5und58ezgs8" target="_blank">face mask</a></b> from a local company worth supporting, <b><a href="https://www.whitewitch.ie/about" target="_blank">White Witch</a></b> - their products are organic, vegan and ethical. John bought the mask for me, and I first used it after the worst of the chemoradiation, on the morning I finally felt stronger again, as in strong enough to apply and take off a mask (the things we take for granted when we are well!). I visualised myself emerging renewed and clear of all toxins and illness after rinsing off the mask. It smells energising, as it also contains mint, which together with the seaweed and the green tea forms a perfect trinity of green.<br />
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<br />Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6458012841011063352.post-5061389419176658162019-11-20T20:55:00.000+00:002019-11-20T20:55:26.334+00:00Painting - real life and fiction<br />
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I have been busy painting (mostly commissions) and am currently doing some housekeeping on my website and this blog, so it might look a bit messy here over the next few weeks. </div>
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I am extremely, obsessively tidy in most areas - after a day's work, I put everything away, and this photo shows my studio in what I would call a chaotic state... (Sometimes I wonder whether I would be more creative if I could embrace a messy environment. I find Francis Bacon's studio fascinating and horrifying in equal measures). But on the computer clutter comes in so many disguises, and a lot of them require an IT person to sort them out and/or are frustrating to deal with, so I tend to let things accumulate and close my laptop and go and arrange my skeins of yarn or tubes of paint by colour, both of which are immensely satisfying tasks.</div>
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Apropos painting, I just finished reading the novel <b><a href="https://www.theguardian.com/books/2007/aug/11/featuresreviews.guardianreview16" target="_blank"><i>Notes from an Exhibition</i></a></b> by Patrick Gale, a new discovery for me. I love when a writer is able to conjure up a fictional artist who is completely believable and whose imagined work comes alive on the page. Siri Hustvedt does it exceptionally well and so does Gale, and I was surprised to learn that far from coming naturally to him, it was "totally alien" subject matter and thus a challenge. I am still thinking about his character's paintings. </div>
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The other themes of the book - death, grief, mental illness, family dynamics - are also close to my heart, and Gale writes with empathy and insight. The structure of the book is handled so elegantly that I wasn't really aware of its form until the end. And it makes me want to go to Cornwall again. I went through a Daphne du Maurier phase a while ago, and between being immersed in her life and work and now Gale's, the Cornish landscape has become tangible like a fresh memory, even though I was a child when I last spent time there. </div>
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Marinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05016337937749241251noreply@blogger.com0